


His Freedom

by simply_kim



Series: Pathways to the Future [3]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Confused Renji, Decisive Byakuya, Gotei 13 Shuffle, Imperial Spy Gin, M/M, No Vizard Captains (yet), Overthinking Renji, Promotion Protocols
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-07 18:59:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 38,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7726042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simply_kim/pseuds/simply_kim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Renji decided he would never understand his captain... and he decided as well that he would look for the reason why it seemed he could never understand him, eliminate it, and analyse better so he could fulfil one of his lifelong vows.</p>
<p>As he stared at the retreating back and the division insignia scrawled in tasteful calligraphy, he thought how wonderful it would be to wear something as dignified-looking as the captain's coat.</p>
<p>Unbeknownst to Byakuya, he had tried the spare coats hidden in one of the drawers twice, and even though it was ill fitting since he was broader than his captain was, he felt indestructible.</p>
<p>Sighing inwardly, he shuffled forward. It wasn't as if he would be wearing one anytime soon.</p>
<p>'Never doubt a good thing.' He scolded himself. 'Better get to that stupid document... signing beside his name – whatever is Kuchiki-taichou thinking?'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a companion fic to "His Crime" and "His Choice", thus, set in the same universe. 
> 
> I just had this idea before – What if there comes a time when Renji would overpower his captain? Well, stranger things have happened, thus, the idea is toyed thoroughly in this lengthy fic.

**HIS FREEDOM**

* * *

 

Barely a week had passed after seeing the end of Aizen's treachery, when the news, as terrible as it was amazing, spread. As Soul Society reached forward, in an effort to move on to the future with acute solidarity, the time for sorting out the strong and the weak began. Each division was besieged by fierce combat, each person on his own, to claim a position in the Gotei 13.

Most outcomes were expected, such as the retained positions in almost all divisions, since every individual became stronger as tribulations swept over them in volleys for a definite period of time. However, there were those that were so surprising they didn't seem real. Take the Eighth Division as a good example. No one expected the vacancy of the second chair. Kyouraku finally convinced his precious Nanao-chan to settle down with him. As a result, she decided to devote her time to making up for what was lost while struggling with her emotions way back.

No one expected Kira to work under Hisagi Shuuhei either. The former Third Division vice captain abandoned his team to join the Ninth Division under his senpai. However, as circumstances would have it, they were instructed by Yamamoto Genryuusai to handle the official-less Third Division for the meantime as well since Kira was one of the people who held an administrative position in it before for the longest time.

Each Soul Society day, unbelievable conquests kept piling up. The bureaucracy was doing wonders for the first time in a hundred or so years, and paperwork was running smoothly – too smoothly in fact, that one person seemed to be having a hard time coping up with all the fast processing. It was surreal, for the lack of a better word.

Abarai Renji was someone who hated paperwork. He never wanted anything to do with them and would have avoided them often if not for the stubborn quality and almost obsessive-compulsiveness his captain had when it came to writing and signing said pieces of useless paper. Those times when they were piling up on his desk directly from Kuchiki Byakuya's office right next door, he wished he had Ichimaru Gin for a captain.

But of course that would never happen, since, as a credible and sly appointed spy of the Soul Society royal family, the creepy all-smiling former division captain was nearly reinstated, if not for his refusal to have him placed in his old position once again. Renji thought it must've been a huge thing for him to do since he seemed like someone who loved to have people catering to his every whim and indulging his inner sadist by torturing his entire division through... paperwork.

Renji frowned. No, it was not a good idea to wish for someone like that as his captain. He was trying to avoid paperwork after all. He shook his head and glared at the towering pile in front of him. "What am I supposed to do with all this?" He growled in extreme annoyance.

"You are supposed to sign all of them, _Abarai-fukutaichou_."

Renji's eyes widened and he turned to where his own 'office' was adjoined to his captain's. Sure enough, there he was, gazing at him as blankly as ever, his esteemed superior. No expression, no nothing. What gave him away were the words he used to communicate.

He called him 'Abarai- _fukutaichou_ '.

And if his memory served him correctly, he did that when he was extremely displeased and close to sliding his _zanpakutou_ out of its sheath and calling out its true form, ready to slice him to pieces if he so much as made one wrong twitch. He shuddered inwardly. It happened before; when he was three days old in his position... when his work was not satisfactory and he made a mistake of challenging his captain. Sweat beaded his brow. "Umm... Kuchiki-taichou... good afternoon..."

Byakuya just blinked at him, waiting for his next move.

The action just made Renji more nervous. He scratched the back of his head. "Erm, I just haven't seen this much paperwork before, so, I was wondering..."

The Sixth Division captain nodded in seemingly complete understanding. "Place half of them in my office immediately." At that, he turned around and gracefully made his exit.

Renji blinked.

And he blinked again.

_Eh?_ Came the initial response.

Then the horror sank in.

_I'm going to die... well, okay, so maybe not since he turned back... but he asked me to carry half of this pile in his office... Oh yes, I'M GOING TO DIE._

With obvious dread, he scooped up half of the papers stacked on his table and lugged it into the other room. He was sure something untoward would happen, and he was even more certain of it when he saw his captain standing by his window, staring at the flowering sakura outside.

A thoughtful Kuchiki Byakuya meant doom.

As he set down the stack, he felt the sudden shift of eyes on him and immediately, he cringed, waiting for the worst to come.

"Renji." Byakuya said just that, his name. The Sixth Division vice captain straightened, body stiff, tension building in his nerves as he awaited the next words. "Join me after work for tea."

That was unexpected.

The redhead blinked. "To drink?"

"I believe that's what you normally do with tea, Renji." The Kuchiki heir answered ambiguously. "Come with me after work."

And as he stood there gaping like a dying fish, Byakuya shooed Renji out of his office with a dismissive wave.

Apparently, Renji had all day to think of ways on how he could escape if his captain decided to try poisoning him.

**OxxxOxxxO**

"He said **_what_**?"

"Gah!" Renji shoved a piece of bread into Ikkaku's big mouth to stop him from speaking any further. As loud as he was most of the time, Madarame Ikkaku was someone whom he knew could keep secrets – and this was something that was worth keeping.

As his friend gurgled in protest, he couldn't help but be thankful of the fact that the Eleventh Division had the day off. If he kept what had happened all to himself, he was going to die of agony.

"So, whad'ya think?"

"I don't think he'd skin you alive or anythin'." Came Ikkaku's thoughtful response after gulping a bit of water. "But man, you're still in deep shit!"

Renji groaned, flopping on his back and staring at the sky, greatly worried. The grass was probably staining his clothes but he didn't care. His ensemble was black anyway. "What am I gonna do? What's **_he_** gonna do? Argh! Fuck it!" He sat up suddenly and grabbed a piece of tuna off the third chair's plate. It was already in his hand before the other could react, and snarling, he placed his plate as far away as possible from the problematic vice captain.

"Lay off, fucker!"

"Be more sympathetic, will you, you bald idiot!"

"That was some good fish!" Ikkaku protested, quickly eating his plate out lest the contents be swiped again. "You owe me! Just because you're the one who's most likely to get scalped later doesn't mean you could just take whatever you want!"

"Fine!" Renji swore, turning sideways and glaring at the calm sky. "Be that way!"

"Oh, you're such a big baby! That wimp _Hanatarou-whatever_ from the Fourth Division must be leaking his energies to you..."

"Shut up – we're not friends, so there!"

"AH? Well you spent a lot of time in their headquarters and he was catering to you, it's bound to happen!"

"Ikkaku, damn you, you spent more time than I did in that, that... friggin' room! And stop goading me and just tell me what to do!" Renji turned back and flung a dried twig in his general direction. "I'm dying here!"

"Which is going to be least of your worries later when Kuchiki-Taichi is through with you."

Renji groaned for the umpteenth time, head dropping down on his hands, showing his aggravation. "Fuck you, baldie."

"You're welcome."

**OxxxOxxxO**

He was still engrossed in his own problems when he heard a chorus of howls and whoops coming from his left. Intrigued and completely curious, he decided to stop worrying for a while to see what it was about.

After all, nothing as rowdy ever came up from the side of the Twelfth Division.

"You are not worthy of being reinstated if you do not defeat me, Urahara."

The creepy voice from the one and only Kurotsuchi Mayuri echoed, effectively silencing the crowd with all its scathing quality. As Renji finally settled after pushing his way through the crowd, he could see the small smile adorning the new captain's face. He stiffened. Urahara Kisuke might be an easygoing guy, but even he had limits. And after working alongside him for quite some time, he had gathered almost all his habits and analysed it his own way. He might be semi-useless when it came to his captain, but with this guy, he was quite certain.

That smile was doom.

_Why is it that everything around me recently spells D-O-O-M?_ He thought, aggravated. He watched closely at the contracting of Urahara's facial muscles and decided he didn't want to be anywhere near.

"Hey, buddy," He stage-whispered to the one next to him. "Give 'em a lot of space. If we don't..."

And the Twelfth Division staff seemed to realise the gravity of the situation with those words. Eyes widening, he motioned for the crowd to start moving away slowly.

Soon enough...

" _Kakimushire_ , Ashisogi Jizou."

It took only a few moments before purple putrid smoke began swirling around them, prompting him to cover his mouth and nose with his flowing sleeve. _To think that the Quincy actually defeated this guy... he must've been a hell of a masochist then!_ Renji's eyes were watering now, and it made him hard pressed to see what was happening. He blinked repeatedly until his vision cleared.

Just in time, Urahara unsheathed his cane, the same smile still on his face. As the fight began, sword against sword, the imminent clanging screaming painfully in his ears, he realised one thing – it seemed the reinstated Twelfth Division captain was playing with his current vice-captain, the demoted masked menace.

He didn't even need his _shikai_.

And he wasn't being affected by Ashisogi Jizou's deadly breath at all!

For once in his life, Renji thought if it was stupid to try measuring up to someone like his captain, whom he supposed would definitely be a tad bit less strong than Urahara Kisuke. He had seen Aizen and his terrible _bankai_. He had seen the royal spy Gin and the degree of power his  _Shinsou_ held upon complete release. He had seen Ichigo, in all his glory, winning against Aizen Sousuke.

All were powerful men with an amazing amount of skill. So why was he still comparing himself with his captain and thinking he couldn't match up to him in any way? After the incident before the treacherous plan was revealed, he lost to him. But he had grown more powerful hadn't he? So why was he still stuck with his earlier pledge to be stronger than his own captain when he held his own after all these traumatising events?

He glared as the monstrosity that was Mayuri's _bankai_ appeared, prompting him and the others to move. And as he turned tail and scurried off to find a safer place to watch, he heard Urahara releasing his _zanpakutou_ for the first time since he came back to Soul Society.

" _Okiro._ "

**Awaken**.

Maybe, just maybe, he could finally end up his issue with his own strengths and capabilities – even after the Rukia episode.

**OxxxOxxxO**

Kuchiki Byakuya was still staring at the mountain of paperwork on the desk, provided, it was not exactly his desk but his vice-captain's. A small frown creased his brow, and his fingers twitched involuntarily.

He may be one of the most stubbornly responsible people around, but he was not a masochist – well, not all the time anyway. His hand was itching to finish the paperwork for the day so he could retire in peace. He was looking forward to tea with his co-officer, but it wouldn't push through if everything were not done completely and thoroughly.

He hated backlashes.

His gaze turned to the clock ticking, mounted steadily on the wall – a present from Rukia who was now staying in the human world for a while, getting herself educated with the help of the newly-developed advanced _gigai_ , Urahara had given her.

Byakuya wished he had the same freedom to do that. But he had no means of retiring from his work unless Yamamoto Genryuusai approved the weeklong vacation he asked for after everything began falling back to place.

It irked him that even if the paperwork came pouring in, his request papers were still not delivered to him. He understood why, and for some reason, he was even glad that the old man was intent on making him stay to help out in maintaining the fragile stability the universe had.

It was two hours past the end of lunch break, but Renji still hadn't reported in. If he didn't know him well, he would've thought he was pulling "A Matsumoto" on him and ditching his work like the new Fifth Division captain was wont to do while serving under Hitsugaya-taichou before.

He sighed. Renji never did this to him, he thought, staring back at the mountain of documents. Even if the man absolutely abhorred paperwork, he still accomplished them the best he could. Byakuya was secretly glad of that, even though he had to work overtime to redo those that weren't up to par – like the one when his vice-captain battled a hollow and accidentally 'scratched' his shoulder when in fact it was well known that he was bleeding to death the moment he came back from the assignment.

Wrong word usage and wrong descriptions...

He even had bad handwriting to boot – not to mention kanji trouble.

Byakuya's eyes strayed once again to the clock and sighed. "He's late." He finally murmured the obvious, sauntering forward to the desk.

It seemed he would be stuck with more than half the share at the rate things were going.

Maybe it was high time to stop expecting too much from everyone around him.

Maybe it was high time to stop expecting too much from his vice-captain.

**OxxxOxxxO**

They said it was the same as when the Quincy human laid Mayuri to waste, except there was no liquefaction involved to turn the demoted captain to green slime. A small measure of pride coursed through Renji's veins then – he had fought side by side with Ishida Uryuu after all. But then, there was a small part of him that felt envy; envy that a living creature would make a mark on a place where he couldn't, after living there for hundreds of years.

Unfair?

No, not really.

He just had issues, was all.

He heard Benihime being sheathed, and he finally found the will to move forward, going back to the office to finish his work. All was well, and he was actually taking time on the long trek when someone called out behind him.

"Oi! Renji!"

Surprised, he turned around and saw Hisagi Shuuhei waving at him.

"Senpai!" He waved back and was about to turn and head to where his senpai was standing when the latter asked the most frightening question of all.

"Are you coming with us to have a drink?" The Ninth Division captain called out, making him stop in his tracks cold. A bead of sweat dripped from his brow. "We'll meet you out back in the usual tavern, twenty minutes tops!"

At that he turned tail and ran the fastest he could.

_Oh, shit!_

**OxxxOxxxO**

He was on his way to signing the last paper from the formerly humongous mound when a loud clang issued forth from the other room. When the burst of profanities came next, Byakuya instantly knew that Renji was back.

Three hours and fifty-five minutes late.

Five minutes before the end of their shift.

With a final hand movement, he signed the paper using his calligraphy pen, another gift from Rukia that was the envy of the other captains except for Ukitake who had somehow gotten one from her as well on his birthday. It was understandable, no need for him to be jealous; after all, Ukitake was her captain. But he still couldn't understand why he had to have the white one when Ukitake's blood red one was more stylish.

Composing himself, he stood up and made his way to the connecting door, stopping by the delicate frame and watching his vice captain search frantically for the 'missing papers' until he hopelessly settled on one spot, muttering unintelligible painful sounds. Byakuya deduced he was thinking of ways on how he would escape scot-free from his mistake.

And he was really looking forward to hearing what the excuse would be.

Renji was pretty constructive when it came to excuses for his mediocrity.

"Abarai-fukutaichou." He called his attention, making the other visibly cringe. Slowly, Renji turned to him. Byakuya could see horror in those dark eyes. He felt like an extremely grotesque _arrancar_.

"K-Kuchiki-taichou, I was, erm... watching a fight..."

"A fight."

"Umm, yeah, between Urahara-taichou and the bastard – erm, and Kurotsuchi, and I well, I lost track of time..." The redhead explained sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck

"And you forgot your responsibilities."

"Well, yeah, sort of..."

Byakuya was silent. He gauged his vice captain's words and decided to believe in him... and to look at the memos first thing tomorrow morning just to make sure. Or he could ask Yoruichi. Or Ukitake (and maybe find a small window of opportunity to 'borrow' the his red fountain pen too). Solemnly, he nodded. "Fine. Clean your desk up and sign the last paper, right next to my name."

"Right next to your...! But _taichou_ , I'm not on the same level as –"

His brows furrowed, and with a dignified swirl, he turned back and walked back to his table.

"That's an order, Abarai-fukutaichou."

**OxxxOxxxO**

_He's angry, but for some reason, I'm still breathing._

Renji decided he would never understand his captain... and he decided as well that he would look for the reason why it seemed he could never understand him, eliminate it, and analyse better so he could fulfil one of his lifelong vows.

As he stared at the retreating back and the division insignia scrawled in tasteful calligraphy, he thought how wonderful it would be to wear something as dignified-looking as the captain's coat.

Unbeknownst to Byakuya, he had tried the spare coats hidden in one of the drawers twice, and even though it was ill fitting since he was broader than his captain was, he felt indestructible.

Sighing inwardly, he shuffled forward. It wasn't as if he would be wearing one anytime soon.

_Never doubt a good thing._ He scolded himself. _Better get to that stupid document. Signing beside his name – whatever is Kuchiki-taichou thinking?_

**OxxxOxxxO**

"There!" Renji declared with a flourish, brandishing his brush with exuberance. "Done, _taichou_!"

All this time, Byakuya was staring at the top of his subordinate's head as he signed the document; now that it was done, dark pools that knew much pain stared back at him in confusion. Probably because looked lost.

In fact, he was – inwardly at least. To say it more accurately, he was 'at a loss'. He could still remember that day when he rescued Rukia, needlessly in fact, from Ichimaru Gin's Shinsou, and then afterwards, those same eyes were watching him as he lay down to sleep as well as sit up to gaze at the window for long periods of time.

As different as they were, Abarai Renji reminded her of Hisana. Hisana was not a thug at heart, but her survival instincts were honed to almost perfection. When she fell, she bounced back fighting, always aiming for the impossible and actually snagging the prize most of the time.

Yes, he did remind him of Hisana, so much so that he couldn't kill him even if he tried. He had said whenever they would duel way before, that he was not going to hold back, but that was a fallacy in itself. When it came to Renji, he always kept breaking his own rules.

Maybe it was because he admired him in some way – to have that sort of passion for life... that passion to protect those whom they loved. He blinked slowly. It was the reason why sometimes he resented Rukia's existence. Never had he gotten so much ardour from people just as she had.

The only ones who ever loved him completely were his parents; but they passed away and left him alone. Shiba Kaien was one, they had been friends and he doted on him as a brother would, but he got married and didn't have time for him anymore. However, he too, unfortunately died. His butler, the one who helped him with things was someone paid to do the job, and was just that – hired help. The other members of the family were just there to gawk and admire him. They didn't want to get anywhere close to him.

And then there was Hisana.

Hisana was someone whom he loved with all his heart; someone whom he defied laws and values for, someone he held onto, cherished completely. He thought she loved him just the same. Upon her death, as the sakura blossoms started to bloom, she wilted away and died, leaving him devastated upon her death and upon her unwanted revelations. She used him to find her sister, and he willingly, blindly thought that their closeness was completely out of love. Maybe she did love him to a certain degree, but never had she given all. She was still devoted to the sister she left alone years before her death.

But he couldn't hate her.

He wouldn't even dare hate her.

He still loved her, and maybe he always would, even if someone new would come, he was sure that she would still be a part of his heart.

_Heart._ He thought. _Renji has a big heart_. He was not as blind as to not have seen his vice-captain's desire to become the sole man of Rukia's life. Perhaps it was due to his being with her at close proximity since they were children. He knew that he hated him with all he had before. Byakuya was, after all, the one who took his love away. All the more when Rukia was imprisoned and sentenced to death.

Renji hated him because he was a coward.

Byakuya knew that. By the redhead's standards, he was a coward. Even after everything, all the revelations and his wholehearted apologies, even if somehow he had been warming up to him, there was still a degree of disdain left inside him. He knew that sooner or later the challenge would come and the duel for life would soon be in motion. He only had to wonder if he himself, even with the strength he had acquired in secret all this time, would match the rapid release of the latent potential Renji stored in his body.

"Um, _Taichou_?" He blinked, meeting Renji's eyes before turning away to close the window. "Are you okay?"

The gist behind vice-captain's question wasn't lost on him. But Byakuya could only nod. "Put that on top of the file in the third document rack. I'll be waiting outside, Renji."

**OxxxOxxxO**

Renji was nervous.

It wasn't as if he was going to die through firing squad or something. It was just... well, he wasn't quite sure why he was invited for tea. This was the first time he had ever been invited into such a refined event.

Joining the head of the Kuchiki clan for tea – and he didn't even need to gatecrash.

He was **_invited_**.

Still, there was apprehension in his heart. He wondered if Ikkaku's prediction that he was in deep shit was true. If that were so, then he would just run through back and escape his captain. But that would earn him a deathblow tomorrow. And what if he hunted him down?

Renji shivered at the thought of his captain's deadly Senbonzakura following him around in the dark. It wasn't as if he couldn't dodge them. It was just... well, creepy. And he hated creepy. That was why he steered clear of Komamura Sajin and Ichimaru Gin as much as possible. _Even if Hisagi-senpai and Kira say otherwise, I won't change my mind. Who's not gonna get scared of a huge talking fox and a fox-faced sadist?_

Seeing that there was no way out without getting maimed by his captain, he decided to bite the bullet and go through with it. Besides, tea was tea, and it was bitter enough to wake him up in case Kuchiki Byakuya decided to dissect him halfway.

_I wonder why?_ He contemplated as he strode to the sliding door that separated him from his captain. He racked his brains as to why he would want an audience with him. After a few moments of deliberation, his eyes widened as an image of the hairpiece he had accidentally smudged with ink the night Byakuya was in sickbed more than a year ago came to mind. _But it was already thoroughly cleaned! I made sure of it! Maybe Rukia told him! Dammit! After all this time, he couldn't be mad about that, could he?_

Heart thumping wildly, he pulled the door open and gulped at the sight of his captain's back. The ever-present scarf fluttering in the wind was enough to make beads of sweat start dripping down the side of his face. He quickly wiped them away with the hem of his sleeve. After a few moments of composing himself, he cleared his throat, steeling himself as Byakuya turned and gave him a once-over before something unrecognisable flashed in his eyes.

"Come, Abarai-fukutaichou." Came the familiar monotone.

All he could do was nod and follow him out of the division compound.

_I'm going to die._

* * *

**TSUZUKU**


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

**HIS FREEDOM**

* * *

Pale hands moved gracefully in the air as they reached for the traditional lacquered ceramic teapot. If there was one thing that Kuchiki Byakuya considered holy, it was the art of preparing and serving tea. He had learned from a lot of people, colleagues and enemies even, different arts for different individuals – that was his teatime motto.

He could feel a pair of eyes following his movements, and it didn't take long for him to realise that his vice captain was following his motion, undoubtedly taking in even the tiniest detail. Finally, he was at the last leg of his ceremony and with quiet flourish, he placed one hand on the side of the handle-less cup and one against the rim of the lacquered saucer. He gave the steaming set a gentle push, enough to catch the other's attention and take it.

"Wow." He heard Abarai Renji swearing. "That was some mean ceremony! Where'd you learn to do that, _taichou_?"

He looked up at him and gave a small nod of acknowledgment. "My mother. If she were alive, she might have taught Rukia as well."

Even with the visible awe and apparent amusement, he could still see the unease in the other's movements.

"Ha! She wouldn't be caught dead doing formal stuff! She is a total thug!"

He couldn't blame him. After all, Byakuya was not one to ask for anyone's company. He preferred being by his lonesome, or at least with those who were particularly close to him such as the late Shiba Kaien and when they were still young, Shihouin Yoruichi. However, he was the only one left so there wasn't any other choice but to stand alone. Kaien was now reincarnated and living the life of an infant English prince and the cat woman was balancing her new position as the head of the Second Division and relationship with the equally reinstated Urahara Kisuke while dealing with the jealous fits of her not-so-secret-admirer-slash-vice-captain, Sui Feng.

And now that Rukia was also away, it was not healthy to be spending time alone in his room and staring as the soul society sky turned to different shades of grey. He had to mingle with people, especially those in his division. What else was there to do but start with his own vice-captain?

Besides, he had something important to talk to him about...

"Abarai-fukutaichou."

The vice-captain's movements stilled and his words died in his throat. He was stiffening, and Byakuya could feel it, but he went on.

"Do you want to be a captain?"

**OxxxOxxxO**

He could almost hear the wheels of his mind turning. He had an inkling of what the other might be thinking, and for once in his life, he felt the stirrings of trepidation nudging his heart.

"Me? Captain?"

Byakuya nodded, his hands clasped on his lap. He had been considering this for a long time now. No matter what he said, he knew that the moment he was appointed vice-captain of the Sixth Division, Renji had never been at ease around him. He had credited it to the younger man's ambition and love for his adopted sister Rukia, but now that everything was settling down and his pursuance of her affections remained under the umbrella of close friendship – all that remained was ambition.

Then he could attain the top position and get away from him at the same time. Such offer was something that one just didn't turn down.

"Well, I guess so..." The redhead rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. "I mean, who wouldn't?"

There was something like a silent protest in his tone. Byakuya didn't understand why he was being so apprehensive, or defensive as the case may be, of his answer. He nodded once again, acknowledging his subordinate's opinion on the matter. "I have been thinking that it's time for you to expand your horizons and lead your own group." He added, watching the other carefully, blinking twice as Renji turned back to him in surprise. The widening of those eyes was enough for Byakuya to deduce that the other was seriously wondering if he was being faked.

"Wait, _taichou_..." Renji started, rising abruptly. "What are you hinting at?"

It was his turn to be surprised. He watched as the other took a deep calming breath, his hands tightening into fists. Renji's knuckles were turning sheet white. He looked like he was ready to burst. Then suddenly, his demeanour changed. Taking another deep breath, the redhead's body sagged... now he was too relaxed. A small frown crossed Byakuya's brow as he silently took note of the small differences.

Renji gave him a lopsided grin. "Sorry." He said gruffly. His actions may look thoroughly apologetic for his outburst, but his eyes were a different story. "Didn't mean to lose my cool right there... ne, _taichou_ , why'd you ask?"

It was the hardest question the Sixth Division captain had to answer.

In his solemn way, Byakuya just shook his head and took a sip of his now lukewarm tea.

**OxxxOxxxO**

A little while later, Byakuya found himself saying his goodbyes to his vice captain. He waited by the door, with his trusty attendant, until his guest was out of sight before turning around and making his way to his quarters.

He still didn't have the courage to say what it was he was thinking of, it seemed.

For the life of him, Kuchiki Byakuya just couldn't understand why he was being so cautious around his vice captain nowadays. Maybe it was the fact that he had been seeing glimpses of overwhelming power from the younger man, something he had never seen before. Or maybe it was the fact that he seemed to be wasting a great deal of time just shutting the image of the redhead out of his mind.

As he slid open the door to his room, he was overcome with a sudden wave of sadness. His house was much too quiet for his tastes. Before, when his parents were alive, he had been engaging conversations with them and they were giving him tidbits of their wisdom, passing knowledge to him the most entertaining way they knew how. He even found humour in the way his late father managed to coax his late mother into telling him the sordid tales of their adventures together as children.

Hisana came and for a short while they stayed blissfully together. She filled the house with her joy – as pretentious as it was. At least, there was something he looked forward to upon returning from work.

When Rukia came, he heard her laughter as she joked around with his attendant before dinner, and her cooing as she took care of her 'cute little Chappy'. It may be too juvenile for his tastes, but he couldn't deny the fact that it made the house more alive. When she went away before and after all the turmoil, he felt a sense of loneliness from the walls of the wooden structure.

It was a house.

It was not a home anymore.

He closed his eyes and stepped in, sliding the door shut in his wake before leaning back against it.

He took a deep breath.

It seemed he was alone...

_As always._

**OxxxOxxxO**

Every step Renji took was heavy and grudging.

It wasn't as if he didn't want to go home. Actually, he wanted to get out of all that formality and turn to his drinking buddies for his much-needed daily 'sloshing'. He felt like he just gained a thousand pounds for all his sluggishness.

If he was rich and he was a captain, he would be able to order people to drag him around at a time like this.

**_Captain._ **

That single word gave him the chills. He had always wanted to be one – that was why he was trying to fit himself in his superior's smaller coats when he wasn't looking, just to know how it felt to wear one. However, when he heard the same superior ask him that coveted question, he couldn't help but feel like he was being discarded.

_Dammit... what the hell was that about?_ He thought in annoyance. Byakuya must be plotting something, which was why he raised that issue.

Yes, he felt like he was being thrown away. After all, he had not been the best vice-captain in the world and he hadn't been exactly loyal in his early years. But before, even if he was on a race to overthrow him and take Rukia's freedom back, Kuchiki Byakuya never once made an order to have him transferred to other divisions – not even to have him demoted.

So... why this? Why now? Why when everything seemed to be going great, and the balance of their power doing wonders for their division? Why when everything seemed to be more comfortable than ever? Why when they almost actually bridged the deep gaping  ** _trench_** between them?

Renji may be slow on the uptake sometimes, and maybe he was not one to mull over things forever just to make good beneficial decisions, but this was something he considered ridiculous.

It was totally, utterly ridiculous.

It was too...

"Oi, Renji-kun!"

Snapped out of his reverie, he looked up to see who it was that disturbed him. Upon recognition, he stopped and grinned, raising a hand in acknowledgment.

It was Izuru Kira.

"Yo." He greeted as the blonde reached him.

"Ah, I'm glad I caught you." Kira smiled, his exceptionally large eyes looking up at him kindly. "I thought I was seeing things the minute that bright red hair of yours came to view."

"Heh." Renji's grin widened, and his eyes shone fondly as he met the other's gaze head on. They were friends for the longest time, and even after everything that happened with the blonde's former captain, he was glad the other's smile – as lonely as it often was back then – was not erased completely. "Why are you looking' for me anyway? Boob-girl got you again?"

Renji was secretly glad that the darkness covering Kira before and already been washed away completely. Now he was chuckling, and his eyes were not more than twin lines on his flushed face. "Matsumoto-taichou will kill you when she learns you call her that."

"And you would be watching with glee as she dices me up, wouldn't you?" He snorted. "Geh, that title doesn't suit that lazy bum... I wonder why she was even considered to become captain..."

"Maybe 'Boob-girl' drunk Yamamoto-san under the table."

It was Renji's turn to laugh. "Don't say things like that, idiot, doesn't suit you."

Kira joined his mirth as they started walking towards the red light district of _Seireitei_. They swapped stories for a while before the real issue was breached.

"He **_what_**?"

Kira immediately shushed him, looking around in panic just in case someone managed to get around their barriers and heard. Once it was all clear, he relaxed his stance and scratched his head, smiling sheepishly.

"Well, Yumichika-san learned that Hisagi-senpai was our former instructor, and well, I think she's interested in –"

"You just called that fruitcake a 'she'."

"Oh, sorry, my bad..." Kira flushed in mortification. "Also, 'fruitcake'? Really?" He huffed. "Well, as I was saying, **_he's_** interested in knowing stuff about him. I am the perfect target, and I have been trying to find and warn you too because he accosted Momo-chan once in the middle of her shift the other day just to ask her about senpai since, well, we were all under senpai during our practicum days, weren't we?"

"I bet she warned him to stay away from her or somethin'." Renji scratched his chin irritably. "Too late."

Kira's eyes widened to impossible proportions, and his mouth hung open in shock. "NOOO..."

"Yes." The redhead grinned wryly. "I told him off too, so he doesn't pester me around anymore."

"That means I'm the only one who's doomed to dodge Ayasekawa-san!"

"Looks like it." Renji snickered. "You sure are lucky, aren't you?"

Kira moaned woefully, burying his face in his hands as if the action would make him vanish completely. "I wish I didn't take Hisagi-senpai's offer to be his vice-captain..."

"Look on the bright side, if everything goes well, you don't have to make an extra lunchtime bento anymore."

**OxxxOxxxO**

Byakuya was sitting by the window.

It had been such a long time since he had last appreciated the beauty of the night sky. He had been too busy with work this past year – work and trying to keep himself alive, that is.

_More than the sun, the power of lady moon..._ He thought wistfully. He was one of the rare individuals who mastered the art of _shunpo_ , and yet, the only place he wanted to reach was beyond him. It was one of the things he and Hisana had dreamt of, and they spent countless nights talking about that wish.

But unlike Hisana, who, if given the chance, could touch the ghostly galleon watching them from the sky, she was free to do so.

He was not.

_I will always be alongside duty. As long as time permits, I would be equipped with the need to further my clan and myself... a privilege that is rightfully mine._ He closed his eyes, letting the pain rattling inside trample over him, and rested the side of his head on the windowpane. _I'm the only one who has the power to commit to this kind of life and not be affected the slightest..._

Now, If only he could believe that, everything would be as it was.

_But I don't._

**OxxxOxxxO**

Renji took another long swig of sake and watched as Iba made a fool of himself, mooning Ikkaku who was by now too engrossed in staring at Matsumoto's breasts. If he were in the mood, he would've done the same, since the nipples were now almost showing above her ridiculously low neckline.

He wished he was in the mood.

It didn't take long after he sat down on the tavern's stained tatami, before his conversation with his captain permeated his mind once again. He had been bearing the brunt of his thoughts as the implications the offer gave sank in. He shook his head and took another gulp straight from the bottle. He wanted someone to spill his worries onto, and instinctively, he turned to the one who accompanied him to where the other drinking fiends were.

And there he was.

Renji frowned, and then sighed. It seemed it wasn't over yet. Kira was trying to beat Yachiru in Go Fish. He shook his head and slumped on the table in agony. He couldn't even talk to his senpai. Hisagi Shuuhei was busy, trying his very best to out-drink the new Fifth Division captain.

_Fuck it, I wish I had breasts so they would take notice of me too!_ He swore. He wanted to clear his head. He still didn't understand why he was being so stupidly disoriented over it. Wasn't it exactly what he wanted? To be on equal terms with his snooty captain?

His mind swam as the effects of the liquor he consumed assaulted him, heightening his displeasure over being rattled by such a simple question. "Didn't even tell me why... ' _Furthering yourself_ ', my foot." He snorted bitterly. "Fucker, acting all cool..."

He closed his eyes and the image of Kuchiki Byakuya offering him tea came to mind.

"Pretty..."

And Renji proceeded to snore.

**OxxxOxxxO**

Morning found Byakuya still sitting by the window, sunlight caressing his cheeks gently as he covered his mouth in expectation of a huge yawn. Slowly, he rubbed sleep off his eyes and blinked repeatedly until his surroundings stopped being bleary.

When the image of the room cleared, he finally stood up and composed himself. He fell asleep by the window again, it seemed. With placid movements, he shuffled towards the sliding door that hid his private bath adjoining the room.

And as always, he left a trail of clothes as he moved, shedding each layer as he went. The moment he slid the door open, he was naked; the soft contours of his body blending with the white tiled walls and the soft light from an overhead fixture that automatically turned on the moment his hands touched the door's slot handle.

He shut the door and locked it.

It was one of the luxuries he recently indulged in, a gift from Urahara Kisuke upon learning that he needed therapy after nearly losing much of his muscle movement at the wake of Aizen Sousuke's evil plot. The hot water from what the reinstated Twelfth Division captain called 'faucet' was balanced with cold water from its twin with just a turn of knobs.

Soon, delicate porcelain was nearly filled to the brim and the air was thick with vapour. Pouring a small amount of fragrant bath oil, Byakuya felt like he was in a calm magical place, and soon enough, the lure of warm water on skin beckoned and he slid into the tub without disturbing the transparent surface.

When he finally settled in, he took it as an opportunity to think everything over.

His decision to offer Renji a chance to become captain was something he had mulled over since Izuru Kira transferred to the Ninth Division and left the Third Division offices wide open. Not only would it benefit him, but also the Gotei 13. That was what he thought.

He also knew that there was something in Renji that aspired to become a better person than he thought he was. And judging from the amount of damage Byakuya's body had during the Great War, he was not the one Renji should look up to. He knew from the glint in his subordinate's eyes that he knew this as well.

Rukia was free.

He had proven his worth to all the three worlds.

And he came close to Kurosaki Ichigo's strength.

There was nothing hindering Abarai Renji from attaining his goals.

_Not me_. Byakuya's eyes surveyed the scars that somehow still showed even after all this time and all Unohana Retsu's efforts to heal quickly. They were scars that showed his weakness... his weaknesses.

**_/You are not weak, Kuchiki Byakuya. /_ **

He smiled softly, closing his eyes as a soft androgynous voice swallowed his train of thought.

_/Then Senbonzakura, as enduring as your blossoms, I will strive to gain strength, my friend. /_

**OxxxOxxxO**

"Fuck."

He swore as Yachiru's overly happy voice resounded in his head painfully. Morning found Abarai Renji facedown on the tavern table he last saw before he fell asleep, his nose squished numb against rough cherry wood and virtually drowning in his own puddle of drool.

"Aah, Ren-chan, you are so grouchy!"

"And you're so annoying."

"Take that!" The pink ball of energy whacked him on the head with a wooden box of playing cards. "You meanie! I will tell Bya-kun on you!" Then, off she scampered, pestering a gurgling Matsumoto instead.

"Ow!" The redhead howled, clutching his head in his hands as the offended area stung. The kid was tiny but she packed a mean blow. "Then tell on me, you evil midget, see if I care!" He shot back as he tried to stand.

He managed to do just that and stood as still as he could.

When the world stopped spinning and the blotches he initially saw around him formed into tangible things, everything suddenly made sense.

But that didn't mean the hammering in his head stopped completely.

He winced.

"Ugh. Hangover." Came the exasperating thought, as an equally exasperating number of sake bottles lay dead by his feet. Six in all.

Six big ones.

Then, something in his hazed brain clicked... and he couldn't help let out along suffering groan.

_Shit, it's mission day._

**OxxxOxxxO**

The Sixth Division members were at a loss over what they should do. Upon first glance, everything seemed to be okay. Their captain was sombre and authoritative as ever, and their vice-captain was as loud and obnoxious as ever. Yes, everything was fine, until they were sent out to the human world, assigned to keep surveillance of the rebellion's powerless remnants.

The purification rites turned into an unexpected verbal battle.

"Dammit, why do we have to limit ourselves to this area, _taichou_?" Renji grated out angrily as his target hollow scampered off beyond the borders of their given area of responsibility.

Byakuya levelled him with an acid glare, which didn't seem to have any effect. "Because we are assigned here specifically. If we cross our borders, Matsumoto-taichou would undoubtedly write a report about it and we would be under probation."

"Probation?" Renji yelled in frustration. "Just this once, _taichou_!"

"This would be the third time, and I am the one who would be pleading for the whole division, not you."

" _Taichou_ , our targets are just moving out and leaving us behind! Mine just did! If we want to do our job well, we need more space!"

"Then don't let them get away." Byakuya said bitingly, obviously more incensed. "Stop wasting my time with your nonsense, Abarai-fukutaichou, listen and obey. I'm your captain."

"I know! But that doesn't mean you're right! Matsumoto wouldn't mind the extra help!"

"The rules must always be adhered to. It will save us the trouble."

"Agh! You're so stubborn, _taichou_ , that's why no one wants to be around you!" With that, he furiously stormed off, finding a poor hollow for him to vent his negative energies on, leaving Byakuya standing still, staring at his vice-captain's back.

A wave of silence washed over the other members of the division as they waited for whatever it was that would happen next. Apprehension, and even fear erupted in most of them. No one ever took that tone with Kuchiki Byakuya and got away with it.

However, to their surprise (and relief), all their captain did was to turn to them and order them to carry on, disappearing as he took off in other direction.

They all wondered if the peace that they had worked for so long would be broken now that lines had been crossed.

**OxxxOxxxO**

It was late in the evening; an hour past the time when he should have been off from his shift. If not for the fact that he was looking forward to a day of rest tomorrow, he would be pissed.

With his usual disregard for protocol (and his orders), Abarai Renji decided to force his way into Fifth Division territory, earning him a dispute with a surprisingly responsible Matsumoto and the pacifist Hinamori over who had the rights to kill the hollow that escaped Renji moments before. The result, unfortunately, was the hollow luckily escaping from the three of them.

Byakuya stood in front of Yamamoto Genryuusai and Matsumoto Rangiku, weary in the aftermath of his explanation regarding his subordinate's impertinence.

As confidential as this meeting was in order to avoid inter-division squabbles and rifts between individuals, fact remained that he was still there to be reprimanded.

"I know he's always like that, but it seems you have no control over your own vice-captain, Kuchiki Byakuya." Yamamoto declared. "I have told you before, you should impose a sanction on him just to let him know that he shouldn't disregard rules to provide himself with the pleasure of obtaining something."

"I'm sorry Yamamoto-sama." Byakuya apologised formally bowing down in a show of respect, then, turning to the woman beside him, he bowed just as low. "I'm sorry too, Matsumoto-taichou."

The vivacious blonde was overcome with embarrassment, and she patted him on the shoulder almost affectionately. "No need, Kuchiki-taichou!" She exclaimed, smiling uncertainly. It was not often that the illustrious head of the Sixth Division bowed down to someone who had such lowly origins.

"I was at fault." He said as he straightened up. "I should have restrained him from doing as he wished."

"No! Actually, it's Renji-kun who should be apologising..."

"It was my fault." He insisted. "I should have been more responsible while my team is out on a mission. Each of their mistakes is mine as well. Abarai-fukutaichou erred and I didn't do anything until it was too late."

Matsumoto didn't know what to say, so all she could do was just to bow as well. In acceptance. "Okay then, Kuchiki-taichou..."

"Thank you very much. Please extend my apologies to Hinamori-fukutaichou as well."

"I'll do that."

"Ah, you are as polite as ever, Little Byakuya." Yamamoto cleared his throat, his eyes dancing with concealed mirth. "But even so, I have to give some sort of penalty for your division. This is the third time after all."

He cringed inwardly at the nickname, and then at the implication of the elder's words. He steeled himself, expecting the worst.

"As the captain of the Sixth Division, and since you are bent on carrying the load by your lonesome, you are on probation."

It was Matsumoto who protested. "But Yamamoto-taichou..."

The old man raised a hand for her to keep her silence, and she complied, shooting Byakuya a panicky look.

"You would be placed under the surveillance of Ukitake Jyoushirou for a month." Yamamoto continued. "In that span of time, you must find a solution to your division's discipline problem and put it to work. Do you understand, Kuchiki-taichou?"

Byakuya took a deep breath and resigned himself to his fate.

"I understand."

**OxxxOxxxO**

Renji had been wondering where his captain was the entire duration of the after-mission afternoon. The mission was completed – with small botches here and there because of his captain's inability to compromise – successfully. The Fifth Division's fifth chair killed the hollow he had been chasing, so all was well.

Except for the fact that he learned from Hinamori that Matsumoto was summoned too. Somehow, the old man got whiff of their squabbles. It was the only thing he could deduce. Maybe it was the stupid fifth chair who tattled.

He frowned. If that happened, then, he would be in big trouble. Beads of sweat appeared on his forehead and he gulped. As if on cue, the one he had been waiting for came through the door. There was no emotion on his face as usual, but his clipped strides told an entirely different story. He watched as Byakuya disappeared into his part of the office and took a deep calming breath. He wanted to apologise, but it would be stupid to do something like that when your superior was not in a good mood.

His brow furrowed. But if he didn't apologise, he would be stewing like this every single day that he was working – everything would be more awkward than when they first started out as a team. He sighed. There was no choice.

Mustering up all his courage, he stood up and made his way to his captain's office, making sure that his _zanpakutou_ was strapped securely into his waist, ready to be drawn just in case he would ever need it.

He knocked on the wooden doorpost, announcing his presence even if it was futile to do so – after all, his signature reiatsu was enough for his captain to know whom it was disturbing his peace. His eyes, hawk-like, watched carefully as Byakuya stiffened upon his presence. He knew that it was rage still coursing through the young Kuchiki's veins, but Renji knew it was anger well-spent after that meeting with Yamamoto Genryuusai. If the mission was what they talked about. Which probably was.

"Abarai-fukutaichou."

Renji cringed. He hated hearing his captain call him that.

" _Taichou_." He responded as politely as he could.

Slowly, Byakuya looked up from his tabletop and met the redhead's gaze levelly. His eyes betrayed much of what he was feeling inside, Renji could see. However, deciphering them would be a tough challenge since his captain was naturally hard to read.

"Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni, Matsumoto-taichou and I had a meeting this afternoon." He said. "I suppose you know that already?"

Renji nodded.

"We talked about what happened during the mission."

He waited for the next words, but there was none. Perplexed, he raised both brows and a look of concern crossed his features. " _Ne_ ,  _taichou_... Are you in trouble? Is the division in trouble? Am **_I_** in trouble?"

For a few moments, Byakuya just gazed at him. Something unfamiliar flashed across his eyes again, the redhead thought. Finally, the young Kuchiki heir shook his head, and in his usual monotone, answered Renji's barrage of questions.

"No trouble at all, Renji."

**OxxxOxxxO**

Maybe it was the desperation in Abarai Renji's voice that made him reconsider. Or maybe it was the look of panic he was wearing that contributed more to Byakuya's decision not to send him into an even crueller guilt trip.

Or maybe...

Byakuya shook his head inwardly and raised a brow, motioning his subordinate to continue with whatever it was he seemed to be in need of blurting out. When he continued staring at him dumbstruck, he let out his breath and went on to ask him what the matter was.

"Ah, well, I just want to apologise for what happened this afternoon..."

"I see."

"I'll try not to override your orders, _taichou_..."

"You said the exact same thing the last couple of times, Renji."

"It's different this time, I promise!"

_He said that before too._ He thought bemusedly. _But it's that character that makes him different from other vice-captains. Of all of them, he's the only one headstrong enough to decide he wants to see his captain facedown on the mud where he thinks nobles belong and actually try doing it._

_He has the courage to do what he wants._

_And it's something I would never have._

**OxxxOxxxO**

The a couple of days later, after his customary early morning bath, Byakuya headed off to the Thirteenth Division headquarters and sought out his probation officer. He was clueless regarding the structures and where he should start looking, however, the coughing on the east side of the site gave it away.

He frowned. Ukitake Jyoushirou was having coughing fits again. Somehow, he felt like the world's biggest ass stomping in here without warning. He knew that the older _Shinigami_ knew he was acting as a temporary one-man surveillance board, but Byakuya didn't send anyone to tell him he was coming this early.

Nevertheless, duty called and even if he was reluctant, he started to where the noise was. They both have to settle their terms so they could both rest easy for the remainder of the day.

**OxxxOxxxO**

"Ukitake-taichou."

Byakuya bowed respectfully in greeting as the 'gruesome-twosome', as his vice-captain called them, ushered him pink-cheeked to where their captain was resting. After a brief explanation about Ukitake catching the flu again, they pleaded him to take measures not to aggravate their precious leader.

His eyes softened. He had heard about this kind of fanatical devotion when it came to captains and their subordinates, but he had never truly encountered such. He thought it would be nice to have someone cater to him like that, but concluded that it was useless when it came to his division anyway. His men were either in awe of him, or they detested him for being such a strict leader.

He was pulled out of his reverie when a joyful greeting ended a barrage of coughing. "Ah, Byakuya!" came the light tones of the Thirteenth Division captain. "You're early! You want some candy?"

Byakuya bristled for being treated like a kid, but decided to have one anyway. Ukitake was known to shell out sweet things ever since he could remember. They were a hundred or so years apart, so he knew how it was to be the sole recipient of that bag of candy. With an abnormally huge smile, the blond reached inside his magic sack and produced what seemed to be the young Kuchiki's favourite and placed it in his outstretched hand.

A butterball.

His gaze sharpened. It must hurt for him, even a little bit, to buy that candy – and it was a huge leap for him, he thought. Butterballs were Byakuya's and the late Kaien's favourite.

"It's a good thing I managed to buy the best butterballs in the local candy store." Ukitake laughed. "When I was told by Jii-sama that I would be working with you, well, I thought it was fate!"

For a hundred years, from when he was young, and this man was still a fifth chair, Byakuya thought he didn't change much. A small smile tugged the corners of his mouth. To the other captain's surprise, Byakuya moved forward and sat down next to him on his futon.

"It probably is." He said softly, unwrapping the candy as meticulously as ever.

And he ate it.

**OxxxOxxxO**

That afternoon, after enduring a lengthy vice-captain's meeting, Renji stomped moodily into the office. So far, he had been having a bad day. There was something in Hinamori's eyes that made him feel quite edgy, especially when she asked how his captain was doing.

Byakuya said there was nothing wrong, when he asked if there was trouble of some sort, so why was it that he felt he was not telling him everything? He hated being left in the dark.

And then, this morning, when he was looking for his captain, he saw him strolling across the sakura-lined estate that comprised the Thirteenth Division headquarters, pushing a quite animated Ukitake Jyoushirou in a wheelchair. They were not known to seek each other's company since Ukitake liked being around his best buddy Kyouraku Shunsui, and Byakuya preferred being alone.

He felt like he was missing something.

He frowned. He was about to bang the door shut when a familiar monotone resounded from the other side of the room.

"Renji."

He flinched, shutting the door as quietly as he could instead. _Speak of the devil_. He thought, sauntering over as casually as he could to his captain's office. He blinked. He couldn't see him through the stack of papers on his table.

"Uh, _taichou_?"

"Sit down."

He did as he was told and waited for his captain's next words. Surprisingly enough, Byakuya stood up and left his seat to join him, sitting across as primly as only he could do. A sudden attack of nervousness started in the pit of his stomach.

"Renji, have you mastered your _bankai_?"

"Uh, yeah." He replied, trying to think of where this conversation was going.

"Have you mastered your _kido_?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess... Why are we talking about this, _taichou_?"

A short moment of silence descended, and Renji stared, perplexed, as his captain's fingers played with the black cloth covering his knee.

"Renji, have you considered?"

Suddenly, he felt empty. Was this guy really trying to get rid of him? He looked down and stared at his hands that somehow found their way on his lap as well. "I'm still thinking about it." He answered safely.

"The Third Division offices wouldn't be open for long." Byakuya noted. "Ichimaru still doesn't want to be captain even with Yamamoto Genryuusai's insistence, and Hisagi-taichou and Izuru-fukutaichou are pressured to handle the division... the wear is showing."

Ire floated inside Renji. _Why are you making me choose?_ He thought snarkily. He sighed. " _Taichou_ , I mean, I understand your worries, but... could you stop pressuring me? There are other people who could fill the spot –"

"But no one is more qualified than you."

"You just can't decide such thing on your own." Yes, the irritation was rising, making its way to his words. Just a little more push and he would snap.

"That's why I'm asking you."

"I **_know_** you're asking me, Kuchiki-taichou, but I wasn't even thinking about it much when you off and raised it up!"

"But you were still thinking about it... just not much as you said."

"Doesn't everyone want to dream of becoming one once in a while?"

Byakuya blinked at him infuriatingly. "Then why don't you accept?"

"I want to be stronger, dammit – and I don't need position for that!"

"But you wanted to oust me before."

"Because of Rukia!"

"Is it?"

There it was, the trigger. Renji growled. "It is! What are you implying, _taichou_ , that I want to prove something other than my devotion to my friend!" He finally snapped. "Maybe you're right; maybe I'm out to prove something to myself – something more! Maybe I'm out trying to prove that I'm a **_better man_** than you! You're always thinking of yourself! Back then you were too engrossed in your own welfare that you were actually willing to sacrifice your adopted sister because you value your promise to people who are already  ** _dead_**!"

As the redhead's rasping breath filled the room, Byakuya sat, as silent as ever, a thoughtful look on his face... a pained look in his dark eyes. After a few moments, he closed them and nodded before standing up and returning to his seat, shielded by the stacks of documents on his desk.

It was only then that Renji realised the gravity of his words.

"Kuchiki-taichou... I..."

**OxxxOxxxO**

_As if nothing happened_. Kuchiki Byakuya thought, letting himself be swamped by work. It was the only way he could get his mind to counter the pain of roiling emotions in the depth of his being.

He would have refuted everything.

But he couldn't.

_As if nothing happened_.

* * *

**TSUZUKU**


	3. Side Story #1: Amid Clandestine Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This is the first side story, taking place during and after the Winter War ('The Great War' as named in this story).

 

* * *

He felt like he was going to die.

Pain shot repeatedly across his body as the Fourth Division captain doted on the areas where his skin and muscles tore. He could hear her and the unmistakeable voice of her vice-captain Kotetsu Isane as they talked about the latter going to the Twelfth Division headquarters to get one regeneration fluid bottle from Kurotsuchi Mayuri. He could feel the hesitation of the younger officer, but it was easily quelled by her captain's assurance that she would deal with the conniving creature if he didn't give his assent.

"Byakuya-kun..." Unohana Retsu murmured almost mournfully. "You have so much injuries... please try to cooperate with our healing methods. Your body is fighting me, that's why you're in pain..."

Kuchiki Byakuya couldn't say anything – the corners of his lips were stitched close after the horror the arrancar Grimmjow did. He could still hear the endless taunting. He could still hear the horrible sound of clanging metal. He could still see the features lined with madness, one arm wielding a blade and slashing him right across his shoulders, and another down his torso, forming a semblance of a cross. He could still feel the bite of the arrancar's _zanpakutou_ urging him to smile by cutting the edges of his lips upward. He could still taste the blood that oozed out from the gaping wounds that made his lips forcibly lengthen.

He still felt the blow to his nobleman's pride in the aftermath of Senbonzakura Kageyoshi's untimely destruction. In midst of fighting, he had just heard the shinigami substitute call forth his bankai when he was suddenly winded by Grimmjow's stealth and was whisked away to a deserted area between worlds to be tortured.

"Smile, _Shinigami,_ smile!" Came the taunting growl, and then the feel of wetness on his face as some of the blood pouring forth from his cut lips was licked perversely.

And then, by some sheer stroke of luck, Kurosaki Ichigo was there, along with none other than the Quincy, Ishida Uryuu, right beside him. The latter was a bit shaken at the extent of his injuries, and he could almost feel the pity radiating from the younger human as Ichigo jostled him away from the arrancar's clutches. With surprisingly soft hands, he was pulled into seemingly frail arms and taken back to Soul Society.

The last thing he remembered were kind Quincy eyes and a soft voice assuring him that he was safe. And he was home.

"Byakuya-kun, don't fight it..." Unohana's voice intruded on his thoughts once again. "Please don't – ah, Isane, did you get a bottle from him?"

"No, _taichou_." She responded, obviously panting. "Kurotsuchi-taichou didn't want to give me some, but fortunately, Urahara-san was nearby and gave me this vial with strict instructions to put just one drop into a glass of water and let the patient drink three times a day!"

He felt Unohana's spirits lighten. "Good, do that and give me the solution quickly, Kuchiki-taichou needs his medicine as soon as possible to prevent infection..."

"Yes!"

In a few moments, he felt a small tube being inserted down his throat as gently as possible. It didn't do any good though; the edges of its mouth were sharp and nicked his flesh. As bitter liquid trickled down his throat, he felt himself give.

He was so tired...

**OxxxOxxxO**

When Byakuya woke up, the first thing he saw was the white infirmary ceiling. His breath hitched, and then as if on cue, a scratching sound was heard. Slowly, he blinked. This was almost like the first time he was confined in his younger years. He turned his head towards the direction of the noise. If he was not mistaken, the one making all that infernal noise was –

"Byakuya-bou, you're awake – are you alright?"

He was mistaken.

"Urahara Kisuke..." The older man was playing with his cane and scratching it against the wooden floorboards.

"Ah, you're still as polite as ever." Came the amused tones. "I was waiting for you to wake up, and frankly, I'm surprised that you did so earlier than expected!" He waved his equally infernal paper fan and grinned in that infuriating way of his. _Really now, there are some things that will never change_.

"Urahara, act your age sometime." He chastised.

The other man let out a laugh and shook his head in disbelief. "I could say the same for you, Byakuya-bou!" he started. "Seriously, have you learned anything from your vice captain at all, even after all these years?"

Something lodged in the pit of Byakuya's stomach at the mention of his subordinate. "Renji..." He murmured, eyes staring straight at Urahara in question. The other man sobered up quickly and his gaze was suddenly bright and all knowing.

"He's safe. Just a bit injured, is all. He held his own beautifully." The former Twelfth Division captain confirmed. "He'll be out of the downstairs room in two days... which is more of what I can say about you. You're gonna get out in two weeks." His gaze was suddenly tinged with the emotion Byakuya began detesting after Ishida Uryuu's help.

**Pity.**

Byakuya turned away and faced the wall below the windowpane in self-disgust. The heir of the Kuchiki Household didn't hold out on his own. He had to be helped by a couple of _Ryouka_ , one of which was the person who broke his adopted younger sister's female heart... or so, she jokingly declared before the war started.

He was not fit enough to keep himself uninjured; or at least fit enough to be at equal strengths with the arrancar. He flexed his hand instinctively. It was still a bit painful, and the regeneration was slow but sure. He could feel the effects of the medicine coursing through his veins like little ants journeying from anthills under siege. It bit as it glued cells and tissues together. But this was a good thing. Pain meant he was going to get better.

"Byakuya-bou..."

"Leave me be, Urahara-san... I need to rest some more."

**OxxxOxxxO**

They may think he couldn't hear them, but he could.

They may think he couldn't see them since he was still in the infirmary, but he knew what was going on outside.

All because of the Fourth Division members' wont to gossip. For much of his life, he had allotted a bit of disdain for these _Shinigami_ who were not adept in combat. But now that he had finally understood the extent of their work, he had begun to view them differently.

After all, anyone who were almost always shut inside the infirmary but still knew much of the outside world deserved a lot of respect for all their resourcefulness.

First, he learned that his vice-captain, Abarai Renji had finally been off sickbay. He was now subbing for him as their division regrouped. The redhead had seen much carnage and now, he was well and moving on with the whole team behind him.

Second, he learned that the Sixth Division was in awe of him and was following his every command. It seemed as if he had gained much leadership skills on the field – much more that Byakuya ever thought possible. He heard that he led a purifying mission twice without any trouble. It was a far cry from the Abarai Renji he knew who trespassed into other divisions' territory and went against protocol. Byakuya had this small fantasy that Renji was being deliberately agreeable because his captain was still in sickbay.

He snorted inwardly as he listened to a group of Fourth Division members lounging right outside his closed door. Oh, and recently there had been rumours circulating that his clan was thinking of removing him from his post, placing someone more 'knowledgeable and experienced' than him.

He stared out the window thoughtfully.

He had long acknowledged the fact that he was not the best fighter around. Battle against Kurosaki Ichigo had proven that firsthand... and then there was Grimmjow. But he was still capable of greatness regardless, crediting it to his immense strength and skill. He had never been one to brag of his skills before; he was only stating what he knew. But now that everything he stood for was disproved, what was he capable of?

During the time that he was still in the field with his division, he was someone who was followed mainly because of fear. They thought he was someone invincible, someone so powerful that they were supposed to revere. Now, everything changed. Where he was, his vice-captain thrived. Since he was being followed unconditionally for all his good-natured brand of leadership, there would be a time when he would surpass Kuchiki Byakuya.

He was not jealous.

He was just stating facts.

With resignation, he closed his eyes. His heart was heavy, and for some strange reason, he could see in his mind's eye the softening of the Quincy's eyes as they stared down at him in sympathy. Yes, sympathy. He had always thought it was pity, but he was mistaken. During his early days bedridden, he thought of everything that had transpired, and he deduced that the young Quincy was in the same boat. He was also trying to prove himself to uphold his pride. He wanted to prove to himself and the world that no one, especially a  _Shinigami_ , would overpower him. That gaze was filled with sympathy, not pity; nothing but a gesture of kindness and generosity.

It gave him the idea that he was pursuing the wrong things, looking at things the wrong way. There were many ways on how to keep the nobility of the Kuchiki household, but he had chosen to delve into the way of power.

He was reminded of what his late father said long ago; that being noble does not constitute acquiring a place where people respect you because of the power you wield – but of the heart you possess.

For almost a millennia, his family had been thriving on being the most powerful of all the noble families. The Kuchiki surpassed even the house of Shihouin, all because the heads that were instated were those who promoted fear in the hearts of many.

He thought he was one as well, but it took a _Ryouka_ for him to figure out otherwise.

_**/"You are too kind, Byakuya."/** _

His eyes snapped open in surprise.

He wasn't in the infirmary anymore. The drab walls were replaced by rolling hills and he was lying on a patch of cool grass. It was pure magic that he could actually sit up. A small smile graced his lips and his eyes lost their usual sharpness.

"Senbonzakura." He murmured in greeting. He was instantly relieved at the sight of the towering sakura and its sturdy branches waving lazily in the soft breeze.

_**/"You think of others too, contrary to what they all say. You actually think of their welfare before your own."/** _

He could not refute the deity's words. "It doesn't change anything." He allowed.

_**/"But it does, Byakuya, it does. Soon enough, they will realise and you will finally be understood."/** _

"It's amusing to hear you say that, Senbonzakura."

_**/"Hmm?"/** _

"Ichimaru Gin said the same thing before he went off to spy on Aizen."

**_/"You do know I can accidentally kill you, don't you?"/_ **

The young Kuchiki heir gave up a small burst of laughter before he was reminded of his thoughts of failure. "I am troubled, my friend." He admitted slowly. "I don't know how much more I can endure..."

Byakuya started as a sudden stream of bright light emanated from the guardian tree, and slowly, the familiar transformation took place. Soon enough, almost feminine arms reached out to him, soft ethereal skin touching his and offering comfort... and there Senbonzakura was, in all his full glory.

With one swift motion, Byakuya was enveloped in a warm embrace, the scent of the sakura blossoms rushing through his senses.  ** _/"Ah, you're still so much like a child, Byakuya... you still have no idea how to run your own life..."/_**

"I have run my life like I should –" He started to protest, but was cut off as Senbonzakura managed to tighten his hold.

_**/"Yes, you have been running your life as you should, but not as you want to."/** _

"..."

 ** _/"You understand now, don't you?"/_** He smiled through the young Kuchiki's unbound hair. **_/"To hold the world in your arms, you must first understand the path you are to take. If you are too burdened, then there is little point in taking it."/_**

"I am weak."

_**/"Never say you are weak, Kuchiki Byakuya – if you are, then we wouldn't have met. Remember my beloved little Shinigami, I was the one who chose you, not the other way around."/** _

Byakuya closed his eyes once again, revelling in the warmth he felt upon hearing those soothing words. For a short moment, he was satisfied. It was like nothing existed but the feel of welcome arms around him.

Even with these arms restraining him...

 _I feel free_.

**OxxxOxxxO**

The next time he opened his eyes, he was back in the hospice. A place where everything was painted white. He came to detest the colour after such a long time staying boxed in, but after his talk with the embodiment of his _zanpakutou_ , he felt like he could deal with anything.

**Skritch. Skritch. Skritch.**

There was that annoying sound again. If he was not mistaken it was Urahara with his cane. However, a singular signature reiatsu flared nearby, and he knew exactly who his visitor was.

"Renji." He managed after swallowing a lump that formed in his throat.

" _Taichou_..." Came the redhead's quiet response. "Are you okay?"

_Am I?_

Slowly, he turned towards him; his eyes alight with something akin to understanding. Upon seeing the unsure features of his vice-captain, a small smile graced Kuchiki Byakuya's lips, one unlike that which the arrancar sexta had forged. Nodding slightly, he answered in the softest voice he could muster:

"Yes Renji, I am alright."

* * *

**ENDE**


	4. Chapter 3A

* * *

The wear was showing.

Byakuya was surveying the joint operation of his division and Hisagi Shuuhei's and he couldn't help thinking that the wear of managing two different divisions was testing the captain's endurance. He couldn't help thinking that he was lucky to some extent. Izuru Kira, Hisagi's esteemed vice captain was showing signs of tear too. It was clearly seen by the sheer amount of black that lingered just below his eyes. He was sure those bags were fading after the whole Aizen episode, but now they were as prominent as ever.

They both looked like they were going to keel over. Byakuya might've thought that way if he didn't know their capabilities. The Ninth Division captain slashed his _zanpakutou_ in the air, followed by a loud screaming as the hollow slowly disintegrated, and his brow furrowed.

Hisagi Shuuhei was someone who graduated on top of his class, just like Byakuya did (regardless of the former's number of tries). He was indeed powerful, and someone whose bankai was better left unseen by those who opposed him. He had been promoted, and it was a wise decision to do so. His sword was honest and straightforward. His kido was top-class. His leadership skills were definitely up to par.

Hisagi Shuuhei was born to be captain, and now, captain he was.

 _Abarai Renji is too._ He thought. His eyes sharpened as they sought and found the figure of his own vice-captain fighting alongside Kira. They almost had the same qualities. Renji may not have the blessing of having excellent talent when it comes to kido, he may be brash and uncontrollable at times, but it was his leadership that had the most potential. All it needed was some polishing and he would be unrivalled.

A frown touched the Kuchiki heir's brow.

His vice-captain was in a foul mood lately, but he could see the improvements such disposition was generating. It was as if unconsciously, Renji was trying to vent all his frustration onto fieldwork. His spiritual levels were increasing as if he was getting ready to prove himself yet again. _But for what reason?_ It sure didn't seem as if he was readying himself for promotion for all the refusals Byakuya had been getting, and all the miniature outbursts upon being presented with the same question.

> _**/"Then why don't you accept?"** _
> 
> _**"I want to be stronger, dammit – and I don't need position for that!"/** _

That may be so, but in this world, the only way one could prove himself was by propelling oneself up using the best of one's abilities. There was no way he could prove himself by strength alone and nothing else.

"Kuchiki-taichou, look out!"

Roused from his thoughts he looked up, instantly surprised at how he had been under a hollow's shadow without noticing. Staring at his opponent, he blinked slowly. A series of quick movements later, he had bound the hollow, unsheathed his sword, and sliced the offending creature in two.

With a silent nod of thanks directed towards Kira who had given him warning, he decided it was time to forget everything and concentrate on his mission. He was still under Ukitake's surveillance and it wouldn't do well if this incident occurred once again.

**OxxxOxxxO**

Renji couldn't deny that his heart jumped to his throat the moment he saw the huge hollow sneaking up on his captain. He was about to call out a warning of sorts, but Kira beat him to it. He frowned. _Kuchiki-taichou's spacing out_. There was something completely wrong in all of this; and a shadowed part of him had a vague inkling that it was partly because of him.

There was no reason to do so though. After all, why would his captain be worrying about him when he had enough anxieties to last him another millennia? It was simply illogical and rare that his captain was dawdling around in that department.

Renji sighed inwardly. While he was steaming after all those times his captain insisted he try out for captaincy, the noble was contemplating who knows what, and mostly during inopportune moments.

> **_/"Maybe you're right; maybe I'm out to prove something to myself – something more! Maybe I'm out trying to prove that I'm a better man than you! You're always thinking of yourself! Back then you were too engrossed in your own welfare that you were actually willing to sacrifice your adopted sister because you value your promise to people who are already_ dead _!"/_**

He winced. Those were the most atrocious set of words he had ever let himself speak. It was not like him to bear grudges, even though they were life-altering. Well, maybe not when it came to Ichigo.

But that was another story.

He shouldn't have said those words. He understood perfectly, why his captain did what he did. Now, for some reason, he was focusing on them. For what? He didn't understand himself. Maybe it was the deadened feeling deep inside whenever the issue of being captain was brought up. Or maybe he was trying to prove that he was nothing like his captain in any aspect...

> _**/Maybe I'm out trying to prove that I'm a better man than you/** _

He slashed another hollow, its screams pleasing him almost perversely. It made him feel more in control. Maybe it was just that – proving himself to his captain and to all of Soul Society. Proving that he was a better man than his captain would ever be. He may not be the heir to a noble family nor was he rich, but he had the skills and the heart to challenge anyone in his path.

And as he previously reiterated (rather bluntly and vehemently at that), he didn't need position for it.

Slashing another hollow, he turned towards the figure of his captain, currently performing purification rites on a writhing, screaming hollow.

_And I'm gonna prove it._

No matter the cost.

**OxxxOxxxO**

"You were distracted today, Byakuya- _bou_."

The young noble was now resting in his office after working hours. He was faintly surprised at the sudden intrusion and looked up to see his childhood friend.

"Shihouin Yoruichi." He acknowledged politely.

It made the newcomer snicker in amusement. "Aah-hah..." She started, moving towards the sitting area that adorned the Sixth Division captain's part of the office. "You never change, still as polite as ever, Little Byakuya."

"You sound just like Yamamoto-taichou." Byakuya pointed out, remembering the fateful private meeting he had with him and Matsumoto. "And you're a thousand years younger."

At that, Yoruichi laughed, throwing back her head as she did, plopping down on the comfortable couch. "Ah, Byakuya-bou, you definitely learned something from that vice-captain of yours!" A knowing grin never left her face. "You seem to be getting real close, huh?"

He blinked and turned back to the scenery outside his window. The reinstated captain of the Second Division gazed at him thoughtfully. She knew the young master was pretty much a quiet and self-proclaimed loner, but this time there was something that seemed different about him.

Kuchiki Byakuya may have not changed his polite and courteous ways when it came to those who were at the same level or higher in stature as he was; after all, he was the epitome of a true nobleman. However, something in his eyes changed after Aizen's rebellion. If he was withdrawn before, he was even more now. He seemed to be more unsure, whilst before, the element of certainty was always there in the depths of his gaze seeping into the way he carried himself. Yes, the proud air was still a present fixture, but his actions proved otherwise.

She had learned from Urahara that Byakuya faced off with the arrancar Grimmjow first before Ichigo found them. It seemed as if he was defeated, and from Unohana Retsu's report, fatally wounded. If not for the restoration medicine the Twelfth Division came up with (or Urahara - doesn't matter which), he would be in the casualty list.

But she was sure; it wasn't just a case of depression nor was it just a case of depleting self-esteem.

There was something else happening she couldn't put her finger on.

"Bou." She finally said. "You okay?"

**OxxxOxxxO**

It was a good question.

Was he okay? Physically yes, mentally, maybe... emotionally? He just had to believe that he was. He blinked slowly before turning to her with a sigh. "I am." He said after a long pause. He stood his ground underneath Yoruichi's scrutiny. He knew that she knew he was hiding something from her. But then again, it was not her problem was it? Byakuya was inwardly relieved when her usual coy smile returned, and he decided it was time to properly divert the attention away from the situation at hand.

"Why are you here?"

"Ah well, after the captains' meeting tomorrow morning, we're all going to the Ninth Division headquarters for an early lunch." She grinned. "We were thinking that you should come with us."

"Us?"

"Everyone except Toushirou-kun. He's hiding from Ukitake."

"Hiding is pointless." Byakuya mused with a soft smile.

"Tell me about it." The famed shapeshifter rolled her eyes and propped her feet on the centre table. "I told him once before that the captain of the investigation team knows absolutely everything, but nooooo, he still tries to get away!"

"Get your feet off my table."

She ignored him, huffing. "Seriously, why is it that everyone who spends a lot of time with Ukitake at some point manages to become such idiots?"

"I resent that." Byakuya glared, slightly miffed.

"I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about Shunsui and Toushirou-kun – oh, right! You grew up under him too! You and Kaien-bou..."

"At least we are good at what we do."

"Feh, a lot of good that does, you guys are still idiots!" She declared with a dismissive wave of hand, smirking.

"At least, I'm not caught between two obsessive people."

There was a long moment of silence before Yoruichi's eyes truend into vicious slits, glaring at him in disbelief. "Renji is really a bad influence on you, Bou."

Byakuya snorted, dishing out a sheet of paper and his trusty pen.

"So it seems."

**OxxxOxxxO**

Renji couldn't sleep that night. Thoughts were turning around his head and he couldn't seem to grasp any of them.

Everything seemed... troubling. It was like Hueco Mundo spit out another evil that he had to run over so the world would make sense once again.

"Ugh..." He grumbled, closing his eyes and plunking a pillow on his face in an effort to repress the urge to just let go with a frustrated scream. Maybe if he pushed hard enough he would die of suffocation.  _But that would be so uncool. Besides, what would the idiot Ichigo say?_ With an irritated groan, he threw it away immediately, hitting the open door of his closet with a loud bang.

He gritted his teeth.

"I need a drink."

**OxxxOxxxO**

Renji was brooding, and there was little his companions could do to appease him. Hisagi Shuuhei sighed, shooting a helpless glance at his vice-captain, certain that he was going to be the one burdened by this in the long run. He thought that maybe he was cursed after all. Everyone associated with him during his shinigami practicum days experience suffering.

Kira, for a period time in the past, was drowning in darkness. Momo was still in pain after everything the traitor Aizen had done. Now, Renji was brooding for some reason, and if he could hazard a guess, it was about his own captain too.

"Renji." He started finally. "Stop it with that face, you're frightening the tavern owner."

But the redhead continued brooding. It was no use talking to him, it seemed. Absolutely pointless. Muttering a curse under his breath, he wracked his brain on the best method to help his former charge. He was well into a somewhat good idea involving water torture when he felt someone nudging him. Startled, he turned to the one painfully jabbing him and raised a questioning brow. "Ouch, Kira." He hissed, eyeing he younger man quizzically. "Something wrong?"

Motioning for his captain to go outside with him, the blonde stood up and headed out first. Hisagi, perplexed but nonetheless intrigued, followed. They were well into the street when his vice-captain stopped and faced him, prompting him to halt all movement to listen.

"I saw the promotion roster this afternoon."

The Ninth Division captain's eyes narrowed, and he made a mental note to check the list before he went to bed. "And?"

"Renji-kun's name is in it." Kira finished hesitantly. "His name is penned in Kuchiki-taichou's handwriting."

It took a few moments before the information sunk in, and Hisagi's frown deepened. "So that may be partly why he's brooding like someone who just lost his God."

The blonde nodded. "There's a good chance that's it, Senpai."

"This is interesting." He finally concluded, a small smile gracing his features. "Renji's not rebelling openly about it though. I gather he probably doesn't know about his enlistment yet. But considering the one who wrote his name on the list, he and Kuchiki-san may have duked it out before - verbally, that is." His gaze sharpened, all hardened steel. "I wonder what happened? Regardless, Renji should tread carefully."

Kira nodded worriedly. "Yes, one wrong move..."

"And there would be trouble."

**OxxxOxxxO**

"He's now an official candidate."

Byakuya just stared outside the window, quite possibly marvelling at the early morning scenery, Ukitake did not know. 

The older shinigami sighed, setting down the memo he got from the First Division headquarters. "His name was just added last night." He said bemusedly. "What brought this on?"

Still no answer.

"I don't think you're doing this to get him as far away from you as possible."

"Freedom."

The Thirteenth Division captain was surprised at the unusual response. "What was that?"

Byakuya turned to him, his face illuminated by the morning sun streaming through the open windows. "You asked me why I did it, and I'm answering you, Ukitake-taichou. It's for freedom."

"Why, you don't want him to be your vice-captain anymore?" The blonde asked curiously. The sudden clamming up told him he was looking at it from the wrong perspective. It took a few moments before an idea formed in his head. Eyes widening, his gaze turned sharp. "I honestly think you're making a huge mistake, Byakuya-kun..."

The Sixth Division captain nodded imperceptibly, a small smile gracing his features.

"I know. But it's also the only way to set things right."

"The only way to set things right?" Ukitake repeated almost dumbly. It was one thing to understand what his charge was hinting at, but predicting what he would put to action next was another. Others would say that he had been living in a box all his life, but he would point otherwise. This man was an impossible person to place into a specific category.

Byakuya seemed like cold-hearted person who didn't care about anything but himself and power, but this wouldn't be perceived true for his penchant to protect things very dear to him. He would have protected Rukia if he had not been at a loss over what to do because the moot point of it all was the challenge to his familial vows.

But then the young Kuchiki was also someone who seemed to have better control of things; someone who seemed to understand a lot of things most men didn't.

Only, that also had not been true. Not for a while anyway. 

The Thirteenth Division captain couldn't help the tendrils of worry from wriggling inside his gut. He had a sudden feeling that what would happen next was something poignant and necessary, even if it meant that sacrifices would have to be made.

"Freedom is it, Byakuya-kun?"

Dark eyes that had seen and suffered too much stared back at him calmly.

"Freedom."

**OxxxOxxxO**

He could feel eyes on him whenever he was outside.

Renji shifted his weight from one butt cheek to another. There was something really eerie about the way things moved around him. It was hard enough that he had a killer hangover from last night's drink-a-thon, but it was another story altogether when he felt absolutely uncomfortable during working hours. His attention was starting to slip and he was starting to feel edgy. 

So he spent as much time as possible in the office, away from prying eyes.

The first curious case was the lack of the usual trouble from the local tavern owner. Lately, the old man cowered in fear the moment he so much as frowned.

Kira's weird glances comprised the second. It was as if he wanted to say something but always decided against it at the last moment, especially when his captain was around. When Hisagi Shuuhei was in the vicinity, those two exchanged meaningful looks **_before_** Kira resumed looking at him funny.

And then there was his captain. He was not someone who showed emotions easily, but it seemed as if the Kuchiki heir was uneasy whenever he was around - which was almost always.

He didn't like it.

He didn't like it one bit.

However, as he was about to open his mouth and say something, the cat-lady came in followed by the boob-girl dragging the genius schoolboy kicking and screaming (as far as his frowny personality allowed anyway). They whisked Kuchiki Byakuya quite forcibly. For a meeting, they said.

And he lost his chance to know what was wrong firsthand.

If he asked others, he knew they would say anything good enough to pass as a decent explanation just to escape his clutches.

Groaning, he signed another paper. This particular pile was supposed to be his captain's, but the accursed meeting saw them teetering haphazardly on Renji's table. Why was it that when he was the one attending meetings his captain rarely did his work, but when **_he_** was in a meeting, **_he_** passed the paperwork to him?

Seriously, the world isn't fair. He muttered expletive upon expletive, shaking his head as he signed another document. His fingers were cramping and he was thirsty, but work was work and he had a deadline. He glared at the perilously stacked papers before him and squeezed his eyes shut.

_God, I HATE paperwork!_

**OxxxOxxxO**

He would never admit it out loud, but whenever he sat down for tea, he would always remember that fateful day when he asked his vice-captain to be captain of his own division. He could almost envision Renji sitting across him, beads of sweat on his brow as he tried to concentrate on not wincing while he took in more of the slightly bitter liquid.

It made Byakuya think of the future.

He would never admit it out loud, but he had always thought of what it would be like if Renji was indeed qualified to sit across him during afternoon tea, wearing the same white robes, the captain's revered coat, and leisurely enjoying time spent. If he was a captain, then they would attend meetings together, they would eat together most of the time instead of him ending up alone with his homemade bento in the confines of his office while his subordinate kept company of other lower-ranked _Shinigami_ , perhaps with the exception now of Matsumoto and Hisagi, and, probably when they felt like it, Urahara and Yoruichi too.

"What do you say we play a game?" It was Matsumoto who was the star of the gathering. "Something really, really nice?"

"You mean scandalous." Yoruichi snickered, after taking a sip of her tea. "Something like sharing secrets and visions and stuff."

"Matsumoto, you're hopeless." Hitsugaya muttered darkly, held in his seat by a piece of restraining band tied to his wrist connected to an Ukitake who was sipping his tea calmly. A triumphant look still on his face as he drank daintily.

"Aww, don't be like that, Hitsugaya- ** _kun_** , you're acting like a big baby!" She drawled, staring at him from under her lashes, taking perverse glee from the fact that they were currently on the same level of the hierarchical ladder and she didn't have to restrain herself from teasing him too much.

"Look who's talking. You make Momo do your work while **_whining_** on how **_utterly busy_** you are." He fired back, shaking in complete irritation.

"Hey, I'm admiring the beautiful morning sky!" She protested. "One should never let go of the opportunity to do such, isn't that right, Kyouraku-taichou?"

Shunsui raised his mug in supplication, eyes glittering in merriment. "Ah, yes, yes! It's absolutely a must!"

"You should lighten up some, Toushirou-kun!" Ukitake interjected before the boy could let out a scathing response. "You're so uptight sometimes."

"Ukitake-taichou..." He started, his shaking becoming even more noticeable, much to the amusement of almost everyone in the room. 'Almost' being the keyword.

Byakuya thought this type of conversation was absolutely pointless.

He sighed inwardly. He shouldn't get too irritated over something like this. It was simply the lure of camaraderie that pushed him to endure so far, but he felt like he was being tortured. He was used to intellectual conversations and the calm of his spirit. This was something altogether different and disconcerting, but he should push himself to accept this change or he would never be able to conform to the new type of government in Seireitei.

But as exasperating as everything was and knowing that it would only aggravate things, he still wished for Abarai Renji's presence.

"How about you, Byakuya-bou?"

He blinked in surprise, setting down his cup gracefully before tilting his head to one side in confusion, prompting Yoruichi to repeat her question.

"Who do you think is much more irritable, Ichigo or Hitsugaya-kun?"

Byakuya raised a brow. "No one is more irritable than Sui Feng-fukutaichou when around Urahara-taichou."

With that, amidst the round of laughter that ensued, especially from Urahara, he pushed his tea tray away before standing up; bowing primly before stepping out the door.

He had wasted his time enough.

**OxxxOxxxO**

Renji was surprised when he heard the door open.

With a start, he looked up just in time to see Kuchiki Byakuya enter the office, his long black hair swaying smoothly down his back, standing out against the pristine whiteness of his coat.

" _Taichou_..." He murmured softly, wincing at the sudden flinch that slightly shook the Sixth Division captain's shoulders.

"Renji."

 _It's not 'Abarai-fukutaichou'_ He thought, relieved. It must've shown on his face because the moment Byakuya saw him, the corners of his lips quirked up minutely. "Ah, I thought you would be off the whole afternoon?"

"I was bored." Came the simple reply.

"Won't you be even more bored here while dealing with paperwork, _taichou_?" Renji asked, perplexed.

His captain gave him an unreadable look before turning away and moving straight to his office. "Place half of the remaining papers on my desk. We have to finish all of them before we are off from today's duty."

**OxxxOxxxO**

Byakuya signed the last of the lot and with an inaudible sigh; he set down his pen, rubbing his aching hands together in an effort to alleviate the pain.

" _Taichou_ , I already finished..."

Startled, he looked up to see his fidgeting vice-captain by the adjoining door, hefting the half that was left to him almost an hour ago. Silently, he nodded; patting the empty space beside the one he had just finished in supplication. With awkward movements, Renji shuffled inside and set the stack down.

He watched him squirm under his lashes, and he was again surprised when his younger subordinate didn't scurry out immediately, as was the norm. "Something you want to say, Renji?" He asked, raising a brow in question.

"Well, I want to ask you something, _taichou_..."

"Something about what?"

"About our conversation before, the one that started this whole thing..."

"Becoming captain."

"Ah, yes..."

"What about it, Abarai-fukutaichou?"

Renji visibly winced at the tart response. Byakuya knew he was making the other feel more uncomfortable, but he didn't want his resolve to soften. He had to execute the plan perfectly so as to avoid any lasting damage.

"Well, I want to ask why you still want me to become captain even though I have turned you down each time you ask me about it."

"I told you before, I want you to utilise your potential."

"You said that each time I previously asked this of you, but forgive me for saying, I don't think you're being completely honest with me, _taichou_."

Silence descended on them and for a long awkward moment, the sound of the clock ticking was the only sound heard.

It was Byakuya who broke the silence first.

"How do you see yourself in five years, Renji?" He asked in his usual monotone. This time however, his eyes betrayed the emotions hidden inside. It was an amalgamation of curiosity and anticipation tinged with a smattering of nervousness. He knew the redhead was a keen observer, and he knew that somehow most of his habits had already been synthesised. But he had the knowledge too, that not everything about was decipherable. Not even his late close friend Kaien succeeded in breaking the code of his entire being. "As a vice-captain? Still doing the same job and rotting away behind a stack of paperwork? Walking behind your captain in deference to Soul Society's norm? Do you plan on lurking in the shadows of your captain forever? Never acknowledged as a powerful and unique individual, but as someone else's second-in-command... the person who will always come only as second?"

Renji couldn't answer.

He had in fact, thought of it and he surmised that he would be better off that way. He had fewer responsibilities and fewer chances of screwing up. In the back of his mind, he had been afraid of failure, just as Yumichika told him before while he was still in the Eleventh Division. Apparently, he had no ambition but to remain strong while retaining his position being a vice-captain. He swore on the grave of his friends, and so he would continue counting the days until he finally defeated the one he had always wanted to defeat in battle years and years ago.

"I presume you haven't thought of uplifting your status and elevating yourself to that of someone worthy enough to stand in equal terms with the legend, Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni."

"As I said before, _taichou_ , I never wanted that life." His answer sounded lame even to his own ears, and he winced in distaste.

Byakuya watched the play of emotions on the younger man's face. Now, self-disgust was the most prominent. He shook his head, eyes still holding on to the image Renji presented. "You lie." He pronounced with uncanny surety.

"I never lie."

"You are now... and before as well." The noble took a deep breath. "You were the one trying on my spare coats all these years, weren't you?"

The look on Renji's face then was priceless.

And for now, it was enough.

He stood up and sauntered over to where his vice-captain was rooted to the tatami floor. When he was directly beside him, he leant and whispered to his ear, gratified somehow by the sudden shiver that shook the redhead.

"Let us have tea after work."

With that, Byakuya walked away satisfied, leaving a mystified Abarai Renji behind, gazing dazedly at him, fingers touching his ear.

_Soon, the end will finally begin._

**OxxxOxxxO**

As several days passed and the issue of being captain wasn't brought up in any conversation. Renji thought everything was finally falling back into place. For all the companionable afternoons filled with nothing but division talk and bitter, bitter tea, he thought it was stupid of him to even think that his captain had anything to do with everything that had happened, and was continuously happening to him.

The tavern owner was still trying to get out of his way, the other _Shinigami_ were eyeing him differently; as if they were wary of him when in fact they were all chummy before. He tried asking Momo if she knew anything, but she just smiled at him in her usual innocent way and shrugged her narrow shoulders.

 _A lot of good that did._ He groaned inwardly.

And then there was his captain, he was another of his issues. It wasn't as if he didn't like the Kuchiki Byakuya he was seeing now. In fact, it seemed as if he was more sociable than before. _Okay, **a lot sociable** than before._ He mused. The older shinigami seemed to have this penchant for inviting him to afternoon tea. It was crazy not to pass up, after all, it was a chance to know more about his cryptic personality. However, he seemed at a loss whenever they spent time like that together. They would normally sit across each other while sipping hot bitter _matcha_ while making sparse conversation, and he was slowly losing patience.

There was an itch inside that he wanted to scratch and he couldn't seem to reach it at all. It was exactly how he felt when faced with such situations. The only consolation he had was the fact that his captain seemed to be enjoying himself. 

He sighed again.  _I seem to be sighing a lot these days. This... this is so frustrating!_

He had a weird feeling that something was indeed wrong. He could sense it. It felt as if there was a hollow lurking somewhere, waiting to pounce. He couldn't put his finger on what he was anticipating, but considering the rising hairs on the back of his head, he thought that for sure he was being watched constantly. He could feel pairs of watchful eyes scrutinising him, assessing his every move, and surveying him.

To add to the puzzle, Ikkaku told him just last night over sake that he should be aware of his surroundings. He also pointed out that Renji should be responsible for his actions and that he should try developing himself more to impress others if he ever wanted to gain the power he needed to succeed.

_But... succeed in what?_

He scratched his head, strolling towards his division's main office after a long day of patrolling. He had just finished cleaning himself up and slipping into a change of clothes. As per usual, he was going to have tea with his captain. It had become a ritual now, that he thought he had gone crazy since he always agreed to accompany his captain as if hypnotised...

Suddenly, he felt a surge of static on his skin, and his steps halted, eyes alertly surveying his surroundings.

A moment later, something stung his cheek, sharp enough to draw blood. He could feel the warmth trickling down his skin, the slightly gaping wound throbbing in pain. It may not be smiling wide open, but Renji knew it was deep. Slowly, he started to draw his blade, wincing as further stinging matched his every movement. By now, his arms were riddled with miniature scars, welling up with the scarlet essence of his  _Shinigami_ life.

What was causing them? He couldn't decipher the complex riddle. How could he be cut when there was nothing except...

Cherry blossoms fluttering about.

His eyes widened in realisation, and with quick fluid movements, he raced toward the main building and stopped dead when he saw the most unbelievable thing he had ever seen in his whole life.

It was Kuchiki Byakuya in all his glory. His _zanpakutou_ drawn, hilt on hand, and razor-sharp blossoms scattered about as wind blew on his long hair, jet-black tendrils wisping in the air as if alive. Blinking twice in complete disbelief, he opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off as another petal slashed mercilessly down his lower lip. He could taste the tang of his own blood, and his heart pumped double-time. _Is this some kind of a joke?_

" _Taichou_?" He called out, his confusion making its way to his voice.

Kuchiki Byakuya didn't answer.

Kuchiki Byakuya never answered if he didn't feel like it, Renji knew, and this was no exception. Mind working, sorting through events, he hadn't the time to do anything as the fluttering rosy glow of the sakura clouded over him, descending with criminal intent, thirsty for the thing that kept him alive – his blood. He could do nothing but dodge.

He was unsuccessful.

As the dust following the deafeningly booming noise dissipated, Abarai Renji was on his knees, bloody, and propped up by Zabimaru, yet unreleased. If he could cry, he would have done so. However, his tears were seemingly swept away for all the crying he did over Rukia a while back. The pain should've been something ordinary now. He thought he was already used to it after all the battles fought, but somehow he felt as if every sting was magnified hundredfold.

_Dammit, what the hell is Kuchiki-taichou doing?_

Gritting his teeth, he straightened; muscles screaming bloody murder as they stretched. But it didn't matter. He had waited for too long, and he was currently suffering the consequences. He should've squeezed honest and concrete answers for all his questions weeks, even months ago even if it meant... He glared at the serene features of his captain.

"What is the meaning of this, Kuchiki-taichou?" He voiced out his query, adopting his battle stance, waiting for anything that he would be dealt with. But there was nothing. Slowly his muscles relaxed, but his grip on Zabimaru didn't loosen.

"Renji."

Just that, his name... and then came a huge gust of wind before he once again heard the familiar words of a _zanpakutou_ being released. " _Chire..._ Senbonzakura"

Flying blades masquerading as breathtaking cherry blossom petals rained down on him. With his fastest _shunpo_ , he managed to get away, only to be greeted by the sight of his captain in such close range. They were face-to-face; one filled with confusion and much-needed will to survive, and the other a blank slate, eyes the only ones signifying the presence of strong undecipherable emotions.

Sakura rained down, and Renji staggered backward, dodging once again, narrowly escaping Senbonzakura's deadly multiple strikes. By now, his right shoulder was bleeding and he didn't know how or when he was hit. It was probably when he dodged from being attacked at such short distance but he couldn't be too sure. His captain's released blade is almost invisible to the naked human eye.

 _Dammit!_ A frown marred his brow in concentration. This very moment, Kuchiki Byakuya was not an ally anymore.

Eyes narrowing into indiscernible slits, he slashed his _zanpakutou_ in the air, ending perpendicularly to his side. With a low growl and renewed determination, spurred on by the will to remain alive no matter the cost, he released his sword.

" ** _Hoero, Zabimaru!_** "

* * *

**TSUZUKU**


	5. Chapter 3B

* * *

 

Ukitake started as he heard the particularly loud sound of something exploding. His heart skipped a beat as the wind turned to another direction, swirling in bitter relief; contrary to the current it was lazily wafting in a moment ago.

All the telltale signs were there.

"It's time." He murmured to himself. Slowly, he straightened up and shook his hair loose, slipping into his coat as he made his way to the door of his resting area.

The Thirteenth Division head's footsteps were progressive, but curiously unhurried. He knew what was happening, and what would soon transpire. _Freedom, he said._ Ukitake thought, mulling over the young Kuchiki heir's words that one fair morning. _But doing this, isn't it a form of caging as well?_ For some reason, the Sixth Division captain chose to confide in him, revealing details of his plans on how to achieve impossible feats in the history of Soul Society.

"I do not approve." He murmured to no one in particular, offering one of his subordinates a sheepish smile as the boy gave him a curious look. "But having the same stubborn streak as Kaien, no doubt he would still push through no matter the obstacles."

He chuckled. A soft, almost inaudible sound that reverberated in his body, the tremors making his heart constrict painfully. Why was it that the ones he held dear kept on self-destructing right before his very eyes? There were times when Ukitake felt like he was cursed; and this moment was no exception.

With Kaien, it was mostly out of love. Now, what was this out of... his plan that would forever change the lives of practically everyone who knew him?

Ukitake closed his eyes and took a deep cleansing breath.

There was no turning back now. He had given his word and his pledge of secrecy. He may be the captain of the investigative committee, but it didn't mean that he was immediately to disclose what he had gathered.

Slowly, he opened his eyes to the world. He was approaching the light at the end of the hallway. Soon enough he knew, he would be stepping into the Second Division offices, request on hand, discussing things with Yoruichi first.

The moment watchers were dispatched, it would all up to providence.

He had nothing left to do but observe.

**OxxxOxxxO**

The sight of Ukitake Jyoushirou this early in the morning alarmed her. Brows raised almost up to her forehead, she couldn't help but gape at the solemn figure the otherwise smiling captain cut through the light pouring forth from her office door.

"Ukitake-taichou." She greeted cordially, her voice laced with curiosity and much to her chagrin, a hint of fear. "What brings you here?"

A couple of moments passed before the older man blinked and gave her his usual good-natured smile. "I need something from you, Yoruichi."

The nervousness in the pit of her stomach was growing, and pretty soon she knew it would consume her. Something in the blonde's tone made her squirm; as if something significant was going to occur and she would undoubtedly be part of it.

Dread.

 _What is this about?_ She thought, a bead of sweat sliding down her temple. "Anything, _taichou_." She answered.

"I need you some of your men to run an important errand for me."

"The corps? What for?"

Ukitake handed her a sheet of paper. With indecisive movements, her hand reached out and grasped one of the corners, taking it from the Thirteenth Division captain and running her fingertips on the smooth page.

_Written in Byakuya-bou's handwriting, no doubt about it..._

With careful attention to detail, she read the contents. As soon as she finished, she took a deep breath and looked up, her gaze clouded with worry. "He's really serious about this, huh?"

The blond man just nodded quietly.

"He does know that he might not pull this off completely and there's a chance he might lose, right?"

"I have reason to think that he does."

"Before I do what is needed to be done and tell Kisuke to start preparing, please tell me why bou-chan decided on this of all methods." Shihouin Yoruichi couldn't help asking.

"Freedom." Ukitake said softly, turning away from her to stare at the darkened skies at the far end of the horizon. An omen of things to come.

"Freedom?"

"He said it is the only way."

**OxxxOxxxO**

_What is he doing?_ Renji thought, panicking as the onslaught of blades came after him. He couldn't hide, he couldn't seek refuge anywhere. He knew that as long as the wind blew, deadly petals would undoubtedly find him.

 _If I don't fight back, he's going to kill me!_ He realised. His eyes widened as a huge cloud of pink surrounded him. He could feel the pain of razor-sharp blades cutting through his skin, deeper, and even deeper still. He knew it would only be a matter of time before they cut deep enough to expose his bones. _If I don't fight back, I'm going to die!_

" _Hoero_ – Zabimaru!" He growled, eyes never leaving the distant figure of his captain as he fell back down. With a practiced snap of his wrist, he released his _zanpakutou_. Instantly, his blade morphed into his trademark bendable weapon, swinging to and fro like a whip, lengthening at will.

Section by section, Zabimaru dissipated the volume of the blades assaulting him, and soon he got out just in time for his toes to touch the ground, and leap up again into the air with more sakura following close by.

Renji gritted his teeth. This was just his captain's _shikai_ _,_  what more his _bankai_? If he used his _bankai_ , Renji would be in deep trouble. He heard laughter and for a moment, he was disoriented, frowning until voices entered his consciousness.

_**/"You're too soft, Abarai Renji."/** _

He knew exactly who it was... or who THEY were.

"Damn you, Zabimaru, I'm concentrating here." He muttered as he dodged the incoming clump of sakura. "I know I have to end it, but I can't do anything while running like this!"

_**/"At this rate you will be finished soon."/** _

"Like hell I will!" He growled, focusing all his effort into blowing up the offensive things running after him with his _kidou_. "And I can't injure my captain!"

_**/"Why not? He started it, and you shall follow suit. Don't hold back."/** _

"Are you saying I should aim to kill? Are you crazy?" He shrieked as a stray petal dug right on his sword arm. "Ow, dammit!" He swore, swinging his _zanpakutou_ to deflect those that followed. "I haven't even apologised properly yet!"

_**/"This is apology enough. If you win, he will accept."/** _

"You're not making sense!" Renji gritted his teeth as he jumped up a wooden post and set loose another burst of electricity.

_**/"You are not doing this alone, Shinigami. Sink your fangs in and don't let go. Cut down that tree!"/** _

With those encouraging words, Zabimaru's presence left; leaving him embroiled in his own thoughts in an effort to figure out how to fight for his survival. Metal blades were of no use in this form. If only he had the Quincy's powers, he would be able to do something about these deadly pink projectiles. _If only I have something…_

Then, it clicked.

 _I'm an idiot._ He wanted to smack his head repeatedly in frustration. Zabimaru was right. There were no buts when it came to survival. A _Shinigami_ must fight his way to remain alive so he could perform his duties as long as possible. He was attacked and challenged first, so he was going to counter the best he could.

His current opponent may be his captain, but when his own superior started assaulting him, he was already an enemy. Every being who stood in a _Shinigami_ 's way was his enemy. That was the code. Letting out gruff breaths, he turned around, facing the cloud of winking blades. With another snap of his wrist, his _zanpakutou_ lengthened, and he went to strike, whipping at them, one after another, keeping Senbonzakura away.

" _ **Hadou no Yon... Byakurai**_!"

At that, lighting flashed from his hand, enveloping the wave of petals with deadly light. Soon enough, there was an explosion and Renji breathed a sigh of relief, watching the huge clump partially fan away. He could finally buy time and do the inevitable: ask what the hell this was about.

Properly too before he did something drastic.

Or at least, until Senbonzakura decided to come after him again without warning. Which was what seemed to be the present case.

"Fuck!" With a short yelp, he repeated the incantation and another explosion rocked the area. _Dammit, they just keep coming! I swear, if I get through this, I will stop hacking the sakura tree near my quarters for practice as long as I live!_

"Go, Zabimaru!" He called out as his feet touched ground, facing the horrible onslaught of Senbonzakura's wrath. With quick movements Zabimaru roared, slashing and hacking as Renji uttered another incantation.

_This ends now!_

**OxxxOxxxO**

Kuchiki Byakuya gazed approvingly at his subordinate as the latter tried to get away from the miniature pink rain of blades. He knew it was futile on the other's part, but he couldn't help shake off the feeling that Renji was going to do something completely unusual to ward it off.

" _ **Hadou no Kyuujuu, Kurohitsugi**_!"

 _Ah, there it is._  A gigantic black box contained the winking blades, standing in harsh relief against the late afternoon's orange skies. He hadn't known that Renji learned that form of _kidou_ as well. The only person he knew who had the same ability was the traitor Aizen himself. But then, Hinamori was also fond of the black arts. Byakuya knew she had mastered the craft long ago but restrained herself from using it. Maybe she taught Renji before the Great War after she recovered.

This was interesting.

He hurriedly flit away to avoid the darkened corners. He felt cold air on his left leg as he landed on stable ground, coupled by the sensation of something _**pouring**_ down his arm. Alarmed, Byakuya looked down and saw the untamed power transcending even the shadowed enclave that spasmed around his released _zanpakutou_. It seemed that without being engaged in close combat, he was injured. Partly of his own carelessness, he gathered, but mostly because of his vice-captain's strengthening resolve to aim correctly.

 _He's_ _ **definitely**_ _much more than I expected._ Thick threads of blue pride softened his eyes and enthusism fluttered in his stomach. He hadn't felt this excitement since he and Kaien were in their younger years. 

A small smile stole through his face, fingers touching the steady stream of blood from his upper arm down to his elbow almost fondly. _You never cease to amaze me, Renji... now let me see the power that helped create a new life in Seireitei._

Byakuya released his _bankai_.

**OxxxOxxxO**

He had just passed through Jidanbou's gate when waves upon waves of violent _reiatsu_ hit him. He was right in picking out the date of his routine visit to the place he had once thought sacred. Soul Society had grown so much since he had left to spy on the traitor Aizen Sousuke, and lately he had been regularly visiting. It was a good thing that very few regarded him a criminal nowadays. It gave him a semblance of freedom from the heavy burden he had to carry for almost a millennia. 

Maybe because the communication system was improving. That or their clannish society finally realised the futility of hostility to one who had the nerve to join the enemy and be regarded as such for the sake of effective organizational function. It was amusing in a way, but like a mosquito insistently taking minute bites and drawing blood, he couldn't get it out of his system, this resulting irritation.

His actions made countless souls suffer, despite the fall. It was worth the pain, wasn't it? Maybe not. But still, the essence of his hard work had not gone unnoticed. People were more aware, rendering corruption into an all-time low. The useless were demoted and the worthless shot down in the battle past.

Only the strong survived.

_And now, **this**._

Ichimaru Gin's smile turned wry as he looked up at the perfectly clear fiery sky. It seemed smaller in _Seireitei_ , this wonderful horizon. But not outside. Outside, he often climbed on his current home's roof just to gaze at it, and only then does he repeatedly understand facets and aspects of existence he had missed and continued missing.

The sky was vast.

And now, that vastness was being uncovered. The small piece of sky was widening, and the government is planning on leaving it alone. Destroyed offices were being rebuilt, but in smaller proportions; fit for the use of a few choice people. Only the residential areas stood out in harsh relief, and for once he was thankful. After all, living conditions were so poor then. At least now, they put more value on what was important.

_Ouch._

Gin touched his stinging cheek and stared at the sticky substance that came with it.

Blood.

Surveying his surroundings, he noticed several fragments of metallic pink winking brightly, fluttering down in defeat. Suddenly, another wave of _reiatsu_ hit. A slight frown touched his brow and he patted his _zanpakutou_ reassuringly. It screamed in answer, his old friend. There was a battle and Shinsou wailed. This time, it wasn't excitement. It was worry. He could feel its pain – everything it had to endure just to protect him. And now, vestiges of that huge amount of pain rang once again.

_Ah, Byakuya... it's finally time, is it not?_

With renewed purpose, he walked onward; each step heavy as shocks of what seemed to be an ongoing battle tried pushing him off course.

 _Oh? Isn't it too early?_ He thought, amused. He could still remember the most recent conversation he had with the Kuchiki heir:

> _**/"Sign it?" Gin asked, quite confused as Byakuya placed a stack of papers in front of him.** _
> 
> " _ **Yes." Came the response; as always, delivered monotonously.**_
> 
> " _ **What is it about?" He could see the words written on the pages, and he wondered how in the world the computer restricted to the Twelfth Division can now print a document that had nothing to do with its operations. "This is a high-tech product, I see."**_
> 
> " _ **We have more computers now." Byakuya answered. "That's not what I want you to see. Read, then sign. Now."**_
> 
> _**Deciding to humour him, he did as he was told. Amusement soon faded, and he felt the pique of interest as he read the contents of the proposal. After reading the last line, he gazed at the young Kuchiki thoughtfully. "This is actually doable. Efficient too."** _
> 
> " _ **I know."**_
> 
> _**Gin tilted his head, curious. "Why all this? Why not just request it from the old man without changing anything?" He asked, accepting the pen Byakuya held out to him and signing. "It's illogical and time-consuming. Besides, the Third Division offices are still open…"** _
> 
> " _ **Because it is necessary."**_
> 
> _**There was a small bout of silence as each reverted back into their own thoughts. Finally, Gin grinned, genuine interest marring the lighthearted sparkle in his eyes. "It is for the best isn't it?"** _
> 
> _**Byakuya turned away, a small smile adorning his lips.** _
> 
> " _ **It is."/**_

That was three days ago.

Gin chuckled and continued on his way, pace hurried. He needed to get the documented response from Yamamoto Genryuusai. _If everything goes well, we would be able to forward it to His Majesty himself in record time. Maybe even tonight._

Everything will be decided by this match. It was either Kuchiki Byakuya or Abarai Renji who would create a new era for this place. If the Sixth Division captain was right in his deductions, then there was nothing to worry about. Either way, everyone benefits.  _Seireitei_ would undoubtedly become even more capable and safer than ever before.

**OxxxOxxxO**

Renji was a loss. He had been hit several times and his shoulder was aching. It felt like he was being split open from the side and his legs felt like they were weighed down with lead. He blinked his eyes, trying to adjust to the darkness of night that finally caught up with them.

"Dammit," He swore, eyes narrowing, concentrating, and trying to remain unblinking even as sweat poured down his face in buckets. He couldn't even release his _bankai_  . He had no opportunity to do so. Zabimaru's final transformation required space. Lots of it.

Seeing where he was now, it was impossible to just say the magic word. He had been transferring from one hiding place to another, praying to whomever supreme deity still living that he would remain the victor of this challenge. 

 _Challenge?_ That word seemed to be the best way to describe his current situation. His captain had been challenging him since he came back a few minutes – hours? – ago. It wasn't enough just staying alive. He huffed, catching his breath as he stumbled to another place for cover.  _Whatever happens, I have to answer to this challenge_.

Now that he had mastered his _bankai_ , he was able enough to keep up with the battle. Kuchiki Byakuya did not raise him since his transfer to the Sixth like this! He was Abarai Renji – the man who had struggled to win back the place and people whom he treasured all his life! He was Abarai Renji. He was the man who fought and won the Great War!

Determination swept through him in volleys and adrenaline pumped. With growl, he leapt out of his hiding place and onto the nearest clearing; winking petals regrouping and starting toward him with lightning speed.

Renji only had time to cry out his answer to this atrocious and (in his point of view) meaningless challenge before the onslaught of unending blades rained relentlessly on him.

**OxxxOxxxO**

Yoruichi wanted to help him.

Never in her life, apart from the Great War, did she see Kuchiki Byakuya this determined to annihilate something – or in this case, someone. She gritted her teeth as she soundlessly adjusted position on her perch. She swore that a branch was piercing her right butt cheek. However, seeing that the ones she was currently observing were all haggard and bloodied, she couldn't really complain.

There was that instruction to remain as silent as possible. She along with the others from the corps were bound by it. She could feel their surrounding  _reiatsu_  and it was comforting. Just the thought that no one became an unintended victim of those dangerous blades and those forceful _kidou_  exchanges was enough for her to do her best. She didn't want to lose another soldier.

Just as she didn't want to lose any of the two battling it out below her.

She signalled a comrade to ignite the main torch and immediately light up the others across  _Seireitei_. It was the Sixth Division's job to do so, but for now all its members were required had to watch from the Twelfth Division screens closely. Their future depended on the result of the battle after all. How long has it been going on anyway?

 _Botchan._ She thought, gritting her teeth as another storm of sakura descended upon the Sixth Division vice-captain. _This will be pointless if one of you dies. Is there no other way?_

Ukitake told her about the whole plan, the whole thing that the young Kuchiki heir orchestrated. If by some miracle, Abarai Renji won without adding another name to the list in the House of Candles, then all will be well. Byakuya would pull through and everything would fall into their new places.

_Hold out both of you, d_ _on't you dare die on us._

**OxxxOxxxO**

"Lesson one, a captain never hides nor escapes from his aggressor." He murmured appreciatively as his vice-captain jumped out of his hiding place and stood with pride, narrowed eyes watching him and his _zanpakutou_ with great intensity. "He faces challenges head-on without any self-doubt and fear."

Byakuya could see his surprised eyes clearly now, with the night time torches finally burning, willing Senbonzakura to corner him. _"Hadou no Yon... Byakurai."_ He recited solemnly, body alert in preparation for another form of _kidou_ retaliation. He watched as Renji struggled to hold himself up. His hair tie was loosened and some of his hair fell from its constraints, even more now that electricity was assaulting him in huge unforgiving waves.

However, even if said surprise was evident, Byakuya still couldn't erase the slight trepidation that coursed through his veins as the Renji's sword arm flinched ever so slightly. For a passing moment, even with wide eyes, the words he had been waiting for to surface finally did. The roaring drowned the cry, zipping past chapped lips before an electrically fortified Senbonzakura engulfed the redhead completely.

His eyes narrowed, fixed on the undulating mass of pink restraining his subordinate.  _It's coming._  Byakuya noted; body taut in preparation, ready to spring away or hurtle forward as fast as possible if needed.

Renji finally called upon his _bankai_.

Beads of sweat dripped down Byakuya's temples and he pushed with all his might. He could feel Senbonzakura's strain, even as he fed more of his own _reiatsu_ to it, shivering up and down his spine. Renji _is strong._ He thought, gritting his teeth. He may almost be as strong as Kurosaki Ichigo the Vizard, days before the Great War. The atmosphere was the same. The level was the same.

"Lesson two. A captain gives his all in a duel. He gives everything he has in order to attain victory." He whispered almost inaudibly, willing Senbonzakura to create sharp blades in their purest form around the gyrating mass, ready to strike once the other breaks out. Renji was pushing back from inside the ballooning wall, and Byakuya inched forward in an effort to keep up with the force rushing back at him in huge airy waves. He had to keep his balance or else it would break down.

And it did.

With a blood-curdling war cry, the head of the infamous Zabimaru, now in a slightly smaller form than Byakuya had last seen, broke free. At that moment, he let his swords swing, springing away to prevent himself from getting injured further. He watched with fascinated eyes as his _zanpakutou_ sliced and hacked, but even so, even as the dark cloud of destroyed swords filtered through the air, he could still see that he had done only half of the intended damage.

It frustrated him somewhat, seeing how everything was turning out. As the last of the swords disintegrated, as Senbonzakura returned to his hand, he felt the first vestiges of an emotion he had never thought he would ever feel for his subordinate.

 **Hate**.

It was the same hatred he felt while he battling the _ryouka_ boy. 

It was the same hate he felt when reality beckoned and the knowledge that he was just used for five long years by the woman he had given his entire being to surfaced upon laying eyes on the coveted younger sister.

It was the same hatred he felt as Grimmjow carved a facsimile of a full-fledged smile on his lips in the middle of the Great War.

It meant that he knew deep inside that he was lacking, and thus was projecting it to another as he was wont to do to save his own injured pride. He knew what it was and what it represented but still, he hated.

"Lesson three." His eyes narrowed further. "A captain knows his limits, defers to authority and abides by the existing law as long as he sees it fit and just." _Come Senbonzakura._ He intoned, closing his eyes as he released his _bankai_ once more. _Let us finish what we started._

Too bad that hatred disappears just as quickly.

Too bad that it morphs into a dull ache deep in his gut, adding to the already formed mass of pulsating darkness in him. Repressed anger. Depression. Self-pity. Losing oneself.

That was why he was doing this. It may be cowardly to some, but it was the only way he could affirm his existence and his being. It was the only way he could be free of the chains that bind his body to unwanted emotions.

He felt the familiar whisper of assent in his ears and soon, he was on the offensive. Lightning steps and he was closer to his opponent. Grabbing a sword from the hundred lined up by will, he leaped, hurling himself forward, hopping on the coiled skeleton snake's torso and levering himself up, intent on slicing the head with his own strength. He saw Renji's bloody form emerging from the leftover cloud of dirt.

_Renji, I'm transcending my limits as your opponent, but this is not a mistake. This is how I would know if I am in my rightful place - and if Seireitei_ _is in its own._

Byakuya swung, but in a blink of an eye, he was thrown off his course and came crashing violently on the ground. His battered and bruised vice-captain had met him halfway and literally swatted him off, deflecting his blade by pushing quickly down the hilt of his sword and then using a whole arm to send him flying. He landed on both knees this time, scarf in disarray and loose around his neck. Cold stormy wind generated by clashing _reiatsu_ loosened his hairpiece and he could feel strands of his hair tickling his neck; a pleasant experience if not for the fact that he had just been forced on his knees by brutal power as strong as, if not more than, his own.

It finally seemed that he was an enemy in his vice-captain's eyes. Law demanded he ended things correctly. Renji, on the other hand, would inevitably disregard the law and just up and away if he didn't stand up and continue. 

Red hair flying freely in the wind now, void of its usual tie, the younger man appeared formidable. "Do you really want to get rid of me that bad, _taichou_?" Renji asked quietly, steel evident in his voice. "If this is your way of doing it, like hell would I give you a chance to kill me!"

Byakuya's legs were shaky as he stood up. The bleeding on his left leg intensified but he pointedly ignored it. "Maybe." He answered back, scattering a hundred more swords. It was futile to slice horizontally, because Zabimaru would most definitely return to its original state. The only options were to either slice vertically, or to weaken Renji so he could attack closely forcefully.

It was a new challenge, this time coming from Renji; this and the strange thirsty twinkle in his eyes. Unspoken but very blatant. "Not good enough!" Came the acidic response.

And Zabimaru bared its fangs.

**OxxxOxxxO**

"Not good enough!" Renji grated out in anger. "It's my turn now, _taichou_!"

His _zanpakutou_ grinned in answer and in complete unison, sword and master started to advance. The iconic animal snaked forward aiming to feast on the Sixth Division captain, beady eyes fixed on one figure alone. 

 _Lightning steps to evade._ Renji could follow him with his eyes now, and he was quite surprised at the knowledge that he could finally follow his captain's movements with his eyes. It showed how much he had grown in such a short amount of time. He leaped using Zabimaru's slithering body as leverage and followed Byakuya. _"Hadou no Sanjuusan... Soukatsui!"_ And he let out another barrage of blue fire. It was the _kidou_ he mastered completely, and he was going to use it now that he found an opening.

He let his _zanpakutou_ 's joints detach and attach, following Senbonzakura's deadly path. It was pointless, and he knew for sure that his captain did too, but that didn't deter him from doing something about it. Renji knew the noble was trying to slice lengthwise, but there was no opportunity since he was keen on depriving him.

 _Kidou_ versus _kidou_ , _bankai_ versus _bankai_ , they fought. He had been cut and bruised just as much as the Kuchiki heir and he could feel his muscles singing in agony.

Lightning. Wind. Fire. Jutting spikes of rocks. Everything was hurled between them.

The battle was fierce, but Renji was not just attacking randomly.

He was herding him into a corner. Byakuya knew better than to destroy the newly built towers or let them be destroyed. Zabimaru was capable of doing so, more over if it was in a straight line. 

A frenzied grin formed on Renji's lips and with a flick of his hand, executed a binding spell, just as the other found the exact spot he predicted would be the vantage point. For Byakuya, it was a better choice than to settle on that precious pillar overlooking the palace grounds where the towers were.

" **Gotcha!** "

**OxxxOxxxO**

He knew what was happening but he didn't have any choice. He wasn't going to stand atop the pillar supporting the palace. He had been avoiding Zabimaru, knowing it was more deadly when attacking in a straight line. _Looks like it's the end._

" _Bakudou no Yon – Hainawa!_ "

And just as he landed on that exact spot where he would most likely meet his doom, a binding spell, of all _kidou_ forms, was dealt him and he fell on his knees once again. His arms were tightly strung by unbreakable soul threads.

" _Raimei no basha, itoguruma no kangeki, hikari mote kore o mutsu ni wakatsu… Bakudou no rokujuuichi… Rikujoukouro!_ "

Byakuya's breath rasped out, showing pain as his midsection was pinned by six shafts of light. He was completely and utterly immobile.

He struggled for a moment for the sake of his dignity, but stopped when Senbonzakura whom he called for aid, shattering as Renji's _zanpakutou_ feasted on it. His friend was weakened as he himself was weakened and now... He squeezed his eyes close. It was painful to hear his otherwise silent partner screech in pain and humiliation. It was a different kind of pain - more than what he was currently experiencing.

It was his defeat.

Zabimaru was racing towards him now; its mouth wide open, eyes filled with hunger and excitement. He glanced at it once, and soon his gaze settled on Renji. 

"Lesson four. A captain carries himself upright and with dignity." He murmured almost to himself, admiring the victorious lines his vice-captain drew below. There was genuine relief and pride on that face, coupled with a mixture of what seemed to possession and mockery. Byakuya forgave him for it easily. He had finally overpowered the one he looked up to all this time.

 _That dear, dear face._ He thought in a semblance of amusement. He could see those lips moving, those eyes searching his for something he couldn't quite fathom. An answer maybe? Joy? A threat? Probably.

The Baboon King was rushing closer. Closer. It was strange that he couldn't hear it laughing. It was strange that he couldn't hear what was being said below as he found Ukitake lurching forward in panic, followed by Yoruichi. He couldn't hear the words accompanying the panicked expression on Renji's face, horrified eyes that widening in disbelief. 

It was strange that he couldn't hear anything at all but his own voice as he murmured the final lesson taught by his father when he stood atop the Sixth Division countless years ago. All he could hear was the rush of blood in his body, that which remained in his veins. Thick red liquid was pumping out of his body from the holes created by wide spears of light through his abdomen. It dripped from his skin, from the wet corners of his ripped clothes, rapidly staining his previously crisp white scarf that fluttered sadly in the wind. It drew a thin line of crimson from the corners of his chapped lips, his mouth filled with cloying, metallic tang. 

He could see the void that was the inside of Zabimaru's mouth. He could feel its breath on his face. He straightened up and sat on his heels, head held high and a small smile blooming on his relaxed mouth. 

"Lesson five. A captain understands the concept of death and does not fear it."

_Your fangs finally caught me, Renji..._

_And now it ends._

**OxxxOxxxO**

"Wait! Stop! You'll kill him!"

Renji snapped out of his manic stupor and turned. His eyes bulged as Ukitake Jyoushirou rushed forward along with Shihouin Yoruichi and shook him back to his senses. "Call it off! _**Now**_!"

Startled, he was about to ask what the Thirteenth DIvision captain was talking about when a shiver ran up his spine. He turned back to the point in space he had been blindly ogling and his lips parted in a silent scream as Zabimaru victoriously clamped his fangs on his captain and shook him with vigour. 

"Stop!" He cried out in desperation, seeing blood flowing from where the sharp teeth sank, splattering all over as his captain's limp body moved with the dexterity of a rag doll. "Zabimaru stop!"

Its appetite satisfied, his _zanpakutou_ finally deferred to his wishes and reverted back to its original form, on its sheath by his waist. But not without throwing the loser up into the air in a last surge of battle-high. 

Gritting his teeth, Renji collected the remnants of his wits and energy, and vaulted up, catching the bloody mass that was Kuchiki Byakuya in his arms. The torn black sleeves of his clothes dripped with blood upon first contact, and it was only then that he understood the extent of the injury he had inflicted upon his captain. He should be court-marshalled for this he screamed inwardly. He clenched his teeth as he awkwardly landed, swamped instantly by the two other division captains. He couldn't look at any of them in the eye. How could he when he had done such atrocious thing?

He knew Byakuya attacked him first, but it was no excuse to send him tumbling down in this state. If Renji didn't know better, he would say the noble was on the verge of death. Guilt tripped his conscience and his face paled. He knew, like the other time by the purification tower, that this man wouldn't injure him on purpose and would call the shinigami from the Fourth Division for aid. He heard from Hanatarou that his captain practically begged Unohana Retsu to treat his wounds.

"Renji, stop fretting and let go." Yoruichi instructed icily, prying his tightened arms away. "You are crushing him." He reluctantly did as he was told, and the body sagged limply.

"He's alive isn't he?" He asked brokenly in hushed tones. "Isn't he?"

A pale hand suddenly appeared and touched the grey forehead gently. Surprised, Renji looked up and gazed at the worried eyes of the same person whom he owed his life and good health all these years. "Unohana-taichou… he's still alive, isn't he? He's going to be fine?" 

A short pause and she looked up at him, gentle eyes smiling with certainty. "He will survive." She assured him. She gestured to someone with a small nod – _**something**_ , rather. The huge white ray lobbed towards them and opened its mouth. "Place him inside Minazuki and I will transport him to the hospice. Please hurry."

Renji couldn't do anything but obey. Soon, he watched as Minazuki soared in the heavens towards sick bay. What was he supposed to do now? He clenched his fists and was about to walk away to find a hole he could hide himself until he had sorted things out, when a firm hand landed on his shoulder.

"Abarai Renji-kun." Came Ukitake's gentle, almost fatherly tones. "You did well."

At that, he twisted around and stared at the blonde man as if he had grown another head. "What?" His breath caught in his throat. "What are you saying – my captain is _**dying**_ because of _**me**_ and you're saying –"

"You did well."

Shock registered on his face, finding himself in the presence of two unexpected shinigami.

"Yamamoto-dono!" Renji exclaimed. "Ichimaru-taichou!"

"I'm not a captain anymore, but okay." The infamous spy for the royal family grinned, eyes mere slits as they curved downwards in amusement.

"What –"

"Jyoushirou, Gin, help him clean up. Instruct the people from the Fourth Division to treat his wounds. We will have a special meeting with the rest of the division officials at precisely eleven in the evening."

Numb, Renji let Ukitake spirit him away.

**OxxxOxxxO**

It was as if he was riding a whirlwind, Renji mused when he was unceremoniously pushed by the Thirteenth Division captain into the nearest, conveniently deserted, communal bath. Tossing him a bar of medicinal soap and a bottle of shampoo as an afterthought, the blonde gave him a crooked smile and a thumbs-up before closing the door.

The warm water felt good against his bruised muscles and he groaned appreciatively. He tilted his head backward and closing his eyes to receive much more of the calming spray on his face. The deep cuts and scratches stung but he ignored them, concentrating only on cleansing duties. 

He opened his eyes with a sigh and slowly he rubbed his hands with the soap. He lathered his body, careful not to aggravate his wounds further. They were no match for what his captain had gotten. There was a reason why he didn't want to fight for long periods of time. There would definitely come a point when all that was important was victory. He had a tendency to let all his negative energies out and vent using his blade. The only ones he wanted to stand opposite him during those circumstances were arrancar, not Kuchiki Byakuya.

Renji groaned, slumping with visions of his defeated superior lying limp in his arms crashing back. "What's happening?" He murmured helplessly. "It's his fault for attacking me like that… Dammit, how come I could never understand him?"

"Are you alright in there? Do you want me to wash your back for you?" Ukitake's concerned voice rang from the other side of the door.

Mirthless laughter escaped from his lips at the absurdity of the question.

_It wouldn't make me any cleaner anyway, so why bother?_

**OxxxOxxxO**

He could feel his body going numb from the selective anaesthetic. Even as he opened his eyes and saw Unohana Retsu sewing his side close, he couldn't feel a thing. It would probably be better if he could feel each and every excruciating stitch rather than nothing at all. He could see her vice-captain, Isane, looking on anxiously. He had never even talked to her lengthily before and here she was worried about him. It was a common trait of the people serving under the Fourth Division, he presumed. Not only do they love to gossip, they _**love**_ taking care of others too.

"Ah, Sleeping Beauty is awake." The familiar teasing tone made the corners of his mouth twitch. "How are you feeling?"

"Urahara-taichou." He mumbled, "I feel nothing. Fortunately."

"That's good to know!" Urahara quipped good-naturedly, tapping his infernal cane twice on the marble floor before putting on his striped green hat. "I was waiting for you to wake up and was planning to stay until then, but you woke up all too soon." He smiled easily, eyes shadowed but kind.

No doubt, the anaesthetic was stronger than usual, and the only division that could supply Unohana with such non-generic drug is the Twelfth. As per usual, he was being watched over by him. Ever since he was young, he had been doing the same thing. Over and over. Always watching. 

Byakuya could remember the captain in his childhood days watching over him as he was nursed to health by his mother. He could remember Ukitake, even if he was the frailer one between them, anxiously waiting for him to get better. He could still remember seeing him clutching the younger Urahara's arm as Kaien hovered about in the same state of distress. 

He could remember Kyouraku patting Ukitake consolingly on the shoulder in an effort to calm and reassure him that the young Kuchiki was alright. Yoruichi would be there too, quietly waiting for any sign if life from the young master of the noble household, catlike eyes fixed unblinkingly, impossibly wide and impossibly glassy.

And Urahara always stayed. Always, always. But only until Byakuya woke up. Even if he knew that waking didn't mean being well. 

"Stay." He murmured quietly.

"Byakuya-kun?"

"Stay."

Urahara gazed at him with wide eyes, softening as a particularly evil grin started spreading on his face. "Is it really okay with you that I stay? Do you want me to hold your hand like those soap opera people in the –"

Byakuya closed his eyes tiredly as Unohana and Isane giggled nearby, corners of his lips quirking up mirroring his fond exasperation. 

"Don't push it."

**OxxxOxxxO**

Eleven in the evening came and everyone who held the upper two positions were lined up in their own respective places, faces serious and impassive. Even Kira, who usually smiled in his own peaceful way, had features carved in stone. 

They definitely heard about what had happened.

They definitely heard what he did to his captain.

Maybe they were finally demoting him or assigning him elsewhere until Byakuya came back for revenge.

He ground his teeth in frustration as First Division captain Yamamoto and his vice-captain Sasakibe swept in an unusually formal manner. The older man was holding a box – a big one, and curiously, Renji wondered what it contained. He hoped against all odds that it was  **not** his own captain's memento, because that meant... _He didn't die. He didn't die. He didn't die…_ He thought, calming himself with the mantra turning around in his head. In a gesture of respect, he knelt on one knee before his superiors and bowed his head.

He could hear the box being opened and a whisper of something he recognised as cloth rang in his ears. He could hear the buzz of hushed conversation and could feel the tension in the air. He wished he could look up to see what the sudden fuss was about, but he didn't dare lest he lost the last shred of favour he had with Yamamoto Genryuusai. A slight 'thunk' and he knew the box was closed again.

"Is everyone present?" The old man's voice echoed in the hall, answered by a chorus of ayes from the rest of the assembly. "Good. Then let us proceed." Renji heard the throne creak. Yamamoto had sat down directly across where he knelt. Was this going to be a long meeting? Were they going to sentence him for his crime?

"You have injured your captain severely, Sixth Division _fukutaichou_ , Abarai Renji." Yamamoto started. He squeezed his eyes shut, veins taut as he waited for the horrific words. "You have been known to go against protocol and react on your own definition of justice. You make your decisions regardless of what your superior's commands."

 _I'm going to die._ He thought, the mere imagery of his butchered body sending a shiver up his spine. _They are going to kill me._

"But Kuchiki Byakuya has chosen you, endorsed you openly even, for captaincy."

Renji's eyes snapped open and he stared at the shiny wooden floors in disbelief. _He **endorsed** me? **Openly**? Since when? Without my permission? I thought he was just asking me **privately** if I wanted to –_

"I have received documents from him, all his intent and all his project proposals for _Seireitei_  and the entire Soul Society a few days ago." Yamamoto continued. "I have deemed them efficient and effective, and thus forwarded to the senators and His Majesty the Soul King. Everything has been approved and the documents have been stamped officially as of this afternoon."

 _Proposals? Do they think I have something to do with them? And what does my endorsement have to do with them anyway?_ His thoughts were in turmoil. Renji felt as if he was being blindfolded and led to a path to nowhere.

"Do you understand what I'm saying, Abarai Renji?"

"No Yamamoto-dono." His voice was clipped, patience wearing thin. He had to endure this. He must. Whatever this was. He didn't get it. At all. "I don't."

No sooner had the words left his lips did the old man laugh. Surprised, he looked up, forgetting protocol yet again, and stood up with a defiant glare. "I simply don't understand what you are saying, or implying for that matter, Yamamoto-dono." He grated out. "I do not like being laughed at especially now that my captain is in sick bay and I have no idea why he made the attack that started all this anyway."

Yamamoto's laughter intensified, the sound making his blood boil. He balled his hands into fists and stewed as his gaze sharpened, watching the old man gesture for Yoruichi to carry the box straight to Renji. "The answer to some of your questions is inside that box, Abarai-kun. Go ahead, take it and look inside."

In a blink of an eye, Yoruichi was there, her face impassive, but there was a strange glitter in her eyes that made him falter. The anger was instantly zapped out of him and he stared at the sizeable object in her hands. It took him a moment to hesitate before he finally held out his hands and took it from her. He opened it slowly, and the minute he realised what it was, he lost his grip on the cover, wooden lid clanking loudly on the floor; its sound ringing in everybody's ears.

"You've got to be kidding me…"

**OxxxOxxxO**

Hisagi Shuuhei watched Renji closely. He knew what was inside the box even before the assembly started. After all, he was the one tasked by Yamamoto to procure the containing for the precious thing.

He knew from Kira and Ikkaku that the redhead had been burdened by the thought of being captain since that first fateful invitation for tea. He learned from his vice-captain that Byakuya had endorsed him for captaincy when the competition sign-ups started. The young master wanted Renji to become captain.

Among other things.

He thought then that there must be a reason for him to do such, but he never understood until that moment he carefully laid the object inside the box that it was not as simple as he first deducted. A small smile stretched his lips as he saw Renji's eyes widen, his grip on the box lid lost. The loud reverberation of that singular sound raised the pounding and rhythm of his beating heart.

Ichimaru Gin was generous enough to provide him the information he needed as he packed the object earlier.

"You've got to be kidding me…" He heard Renji exclaim.

He watched as _Seireitei_ 's tattooed renegade drop down to his knees in shock and disbelief. When overwhelming emotions subsided, all he could see in those sharp features were helplessness, realisation, awe, and lastly, devastation.

It was only then that Hisagi finally understood this part of Kuchiki Byakuya's mind and his smile slowly widened.

_Lord Kuchiki has chosen well._

* * *

**TSUZUKU**


	6. Chapter 3C

* * *

 

"Stay."

Urahara's eyes widened. _It has finally happened._ Instantly they softened, gazing down at the bloodied figure staring up at him almost beseechingly. _He finally reached out willingly in this time of need._ Slowly, a grin formed on his lips. This was a once in a lifetime occurrence – a superb chance to milk its worth.

"Is it really okay with you that I stay?" He started innocently, his eyes sparkling with good humour. "Do you want me to hold your hand like those soap opera people in the –"

His grin widened even more as Byakuya closed his eyes, in exasperation, he presumed. Sneaking a peek at Unohana and Isane, he winked comically, quelling the laughter tickling his throat as they giggled. It was fortunate that the Fourth Division captain had just finished the last stitch and was securing the sutures, or else it would have spelled disaster.

"Don't push it."

"It would definitely help, Byakuya- _bou_." Unohana quipped teasingly. "It calms the heart, holding ones hand."

Byakuya gave her a warning look, which heightened her amusement, making her giggle uncontrollably, hiding her lips behind a bloody gloved hand. Probably noting that he wouldn't win (what being the centre of three people's amusement), he sighed, expression settling to that of dry humour. "Zaraki is a very lucky man…"

"Byakuya- _bou_ ," She said sweetly, giving him a menacing look. "Please watch your words, you are in my territory. Minazuki is also hungry at this time of night, maybe your flesh would suffice?"

"T- _taichou_ …" Isane murmured in a scandalised voice.

"Isane." Unohana turned to her subordinate. A syrupy smile plastered on her face.

It made her vice-captain tremble. That smile meant she was irritated. "Y-yes, _taichou_?" The poor girl asked, backing away a couple of steps.

"Zaraki-taichou is a very good friend of mine is he not?"

"Y-yes…"

She motioned to her charge slowly. "There's no reason for this man to take that friendship out of context, am I right?"

"Umm, yes, Unohana-taichou…"

Urahara burst out laughing. "Come now, Unohana-taichou, try to be more patient with him, he's injured after all. No need to disable him further!"

"This is only temporary." Byakuya huffed, steel in his eyes as he transferred all his ire into his glare. "I am not disabled."

The scientist made a show of sighing deeply, rolling his eyes up in a gesture of impatience and then shaking his head in mock vexation. "Ah, Byakuya-kun, Byakuya-kun," He intoned, grabbing a limp hand and ignoring the other's deadly glowering. "You can stop feeling all lonely and huffy now… we are here, I'm here, holding your hand –"

"I'm not."

It was the sobering tone that made Urahara pause, eyes boring deep into the younger one's own. "I know." He gave a hesitant smile, putting down the noble's hands carefully so as not to aggravate his wounds. "Because you finally got what you wished for."

Byakuya's eyes softened and he turned away, focusing on the empty space by the window.

"Yes."

**OxxxOxxxO**

"He's having a hard time accepting the fact that he can get past his captain now." Kira Izuru sighed, inspecting Wabisuke critically with one eye closed for effect.

"Ch'!" Ikkaku Madarame, the _**official**_ ambassador (Ayasekawa seemed to be encroaching on his territories these days) to the latter half of Gotei 13, growled. "That guy is so unsure of himself nowadays. I like him better when he's determined and all before that Rukia thing! He's much more…"

"Vengeful and ambitious?" The blonde finished for him, finally sheathing his sword and plopping down on the nearest available seat.

"Yeah, that."

Hisagi Shuuhei, current captain of the Ninth Division, gazed at the other two thoughtfully. "Maybe he doesn't want to be captain." He said slowly, rearranging his _hakama_ carefully, frowning when Ikkaku snorted in distaste.

"Yeah right." He revealed bemusedly. "That guy has always wanted to do his captain in, y'know – keepin' Rukia to himself is a huge bonus too, since that guy is, like, smitten with her and all."

"Maybe he really had a change of heart." Kira murmured quietly.

Silence reigned in the room, each person retreating into his own thoughts. Shuuhei was about to say something resembling an agreement when he felt an uncommon signature _reiatsu_ heading straight towards his division's preparation room – the same place where they were. They were taking the graveyard shift with the Eleventh Division and he was making sure his _zanpakutou_ was in top condition. However, he noted that this _reiatsu_ was very different from Zaraki and Kusajishi - and yes, even the peacock pest who had been following him recently.

He started in alarm and his hand immediately grasped the handle of his sword. He had an idea who it was, but considering the fact that said person didn't visit this area often, rarely in fact, he couldn't be too sure. When the telltale swish of white and slow progressive steps sounded, he immediately relaxed and stepped back respectfully, keeping his distance from the door. Soon enough, Yamamoto Genryuusai appeared, his eyes registering the young captain's awareness and nodding his head appreciatively.

A small smile dotted his lips, partially hidden by his moustache, as he spoke. "Hisagi Shuuhei."

Shuuhei bowed low in response and straightened up once again to his full height. "Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni." He murmured politely. "To what do we honour this humble visit, _taichou_?"

"I need you to do something for me." The old man allowed, his smile widening minutely at his distanced tone. With his free hand, he motioned for the other lagging behind to move closer, stepping back as the person reached the doorway.

Shuuhei could feel the abrupt change in his vice-captain's _reiatsu_ as familiar white locks billowed in short waves. " _Yo_ , _peeps_."

He was still wary of him, but it was no secret to anyone that he had his respect. Sooner or later they would be crossing paths as allies anyway, so Shuuhei wasn't about to prolong the inevitable. After all, this was the person who took the blow for him at one point when his former captain attacked him during the Great War. 

"Ah, Ichimaru." He allowed, gesturing to the item in his hands. "What's that?"

Gin grinned with his usual dry humour and held it up. "You've been wearing one of these since you became captain and yet you're asking me that?"

He chuckled, shaking his head slightly before sobering up and turning towards Yamamoto. " _Taichou_ ," He started. "Is it about that, what you wanted to ask of me?"

"Yes, Shuuhei." The old man sniffed, gesturing almost imperiously. "Put it in a ceremonial box and bring it to the assembly later at eleven."

It was Kira who asked, voice faltering. "Meeting?"

"Yes, Izuru-fukutaichou. We are having an assembly tonight. At the conference area by the First Division offices. It is a special one."

Shuuhei finally spoke up curiously. "What is it about?"

"There are going to be major changes."

**OxxxOxxxO**

"You've got to be kidding me…" Renji muttered as he stared dumbly at the thing he was holding in his shaky hands. "Is this some sort of trick?"

"No, it's real." Yoruichi smiled at him hesitantly, eyes remaining ever watchful. "That thing you're holding in your hand is a symbol of power transfer, you must accept it."

The redhead gritted his teeth in anger. "I refuse." He growled out loud and clear, reverberating inside the hall. "I didn't ask for this."

"Your captain endorsed you. He wrote your name on the master list of candidates and you have his referral. It was only a matter of time before you became one." Yamamoto revealed. "That is going to be yours, at least until you finish with the preparations."

"I recognise this, Yamamoto-dono." He murmured, sounding so lost that Yoruichi had to look down at her feet to stop herself from hurting as well. "It's the one I accidentally poured red ink onto ten years ago… Look, the edges still have that faded…"

It was Ukitake who spoke up, gently, soothingly. "Byakuya requested us to give this specific one to you if everything goes well, and such must be granted."

"It's his favourite." Gin pitched in, tone uncharacteristically quiet.

Renji felt like he was being swallowed by an Arrancar for all the darkness swimming in his head. "I don't get it." He started, voice cracking. "The Third Division offices are all vacant…"

"You are not fit to be that division's captain, Abarai Renji." The old man said kindly. "You are best placed in your own territory, mingling and directing people you know and have been a part of for so very long."

"But what about –"

"Renji." Yoruichi knelt down before him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up, eyes as blank, contrasting with the pain evident in his face. _Why this? Why not just transfer me and –_

"The request is absolute, thus, it will not be contested and will remain irrevocable. Everyone voted for this, with the exception of the absent Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou." She smiled, her eyes softening. "Hold your head high. You are now to lead your own pack."

"Yoruichi-taichou… what's gonna happen to my captain? If he loses his position, his clan will banish him… he's going to live outside our walls – it's hard out there! He doesn't even know how to cook for himself… I can't accept this!"

She opened her mouth to console him, but the First Division captain beat her to it. "Stand up, Abarai Renji!" The command came. "Your division awaits your arrival. They had been informed before your duel this afternoon." His eyes lit up, a fond smile stretching his cracked lips. "Ukitake Jyoushirou will inform you of the rest. Seeing you now and interacting with you this way, I believe Little Byakuya has chosen well."

 _I don't understand._ He thought as Yoruichi helped him up to his feet. _Why did you choose for everything to end up this way? Why me?_ He clutched the soft fabric in his hands. Everything seemed to fade away and the only thing he could see was the huge splotch of white resting in his hands; the splotch of white whose insignia blatantly trumpeted its former owner's defeat.

The insignia that would now be on his back, signifying his guilt.

Renji's vision blurred, his eyes felt hot and he wanted to scream out all his frustration to the three worlds. He pressed the pristine cloth in his hands to his face, tears finally breaking free and saturating it. Smelling the familiar fragrance of garden blossoms, more tears came pouring out, and soon he was back on his knees, crumpled on the floor as pain ripped him into pieces.  _Kuchiki-taichou..._

"At this point in time, this may seem cruel, but I am certainly looking forward to working with you. Sixth Division Captain, Abarai Renji."

**OxxxOxxxO**

It was the longest walk of Renji's life.

It was near midnight and he was so confused and grief-stricken that he didn't know what to do but follow the Thirteenth Division captain as they progressed side by side down the hall to the latter's rest house. His eyes were puffy from crying and his vision was bleary from restlessness. He was wasted. At least, Ukitake's hand on his back felt reassuring as he steered him to the right direction. It calmed him somewhat, and with Gin's _reiatsu_ right behind him, a little of his anxiety begin to fade.

A little.

Soon, they finally stepped into the room and Gin closed the door behind them, making sure it was locked so no one would bother as the gruelling hours of explanation lay in wait. They sat down, Ukitake on his futon and the other two on the wooden floorboards on the opposite side.

And then there was silence. No one spoke, each trying to reach into their own consciousness and find a way to get their messages clear across to the one who had seemingly been the focal point of this change. Finally, Ukitake let out a huge pent-up breath and gave a wobbly smile. "You want to ask why." It was a statement, not a question, and it immediately prompted the redhead to sit up straighter, hanging on to his every word.

"Yes." He admitted, a determined look flashing in his eyes. Renji wanted to understand this, understand this situation he was thrown into and understand the mind of the person behind such uncanny upheaval. "Please, Ukitake-taichou."

The blonde exchanged a knowing look with Gin and he nodded, turning back to his charge. "Whatever you hear from me – from us – tonight, please keep an open mind and try to understand. I know you have been observing your captain for many years now and he's doing the same with you, so more or less I feel that you are going to accept this fully – sooner or later."

Renji nodded slowly.

Ukitake's eyes turned rueful. "It's because of freedom."

The redhead's eyes widened. "Freedom?"

He nodded. "Yes, freedom."

"The Third Division is now without a leader after I resigned and my former vice-captain switched over to the Ninth." Gin started, his smile disappearing. "Our primary duty is to guard _Seireitei_  and we haven't been doing that efficiently, since we know nothing but that unannounced visitors are trespassers and trespassers must be dealt with immediately. We lack information."

Ukitake nodded. "And so does the rest of us. We at the Thirteenth investigate, but if an attack is swift and straightforward, with creatures we don't have the ability to identify, _Seireitei_ would be destroyed completely no matter how strong we are or we are to be. An investigation is simply a waste of time." He leant forward, resting his elbows on his bent knees in supplication. "We now lack vital data due to scarcity of information readily available. Historical statistics are not compiled efficiently and labelled effectively. Do you know why, Abarai-kun?"

Renji started to shake his head before a sudden thought occurred to him. "Because no one does the tracking and the compiling?" He guessed quietly, fidgeting.

"Exactly." He nodded, leaning back against the wall once again. "The current system we have is inefficient."

"When we encounter things we do not understand, we lose lives, Abarai-kun." Gin added, shifting to a more comfortable position. "The last time someone tended to that was when Byakuya's father was still alive."

"Why's that?" Renji asked curiously.

"Well," The Thirteenth Division captain sighed. "There are noble houses here in _Seireitei_ and the Kuchiki is one of them. Each has its own duty. The Shihouin provide assistance in times of need, thus, they control the Corps. The Shiba clan aids the Ninth Division and paves the way for us to get vital information. They have contacts from inside and outside _Seireitei_. Mine takes care of investigations and ancient weaponry. We gather raw data which we forward to the Eighth and Twelfth Divisions. The Kuchiki is supposed to compile the information after the processing done by the Eighth and Twelfth and is in charge of disseminating information to all of us through the Sixth Division."

"But after Byakuya's father died, everything changed." Ukitake grew pensive. "The clan decided it would be better to hold major power in Gotei 13 and further their interests through force. Since Byakuya was the next in line, he was duty-bound to do what they wanted and became the captain of Division Six. He was made to retain the division's role as the leader in battle tactics but gave the right to disseminate information to the overburdened Ninth Division. Over time, he suffered the most, seeing people he loved die and people he cared for betrayed, for the sake of power. He was virtually chained to this aspect of his existence."

"I visited him countless times before to make him feel a little less lonely, but I guess it only made him more irritable… Zaraki too, when they crossed paths, he seemed to dislike him for his carefree attitude." Gin chuckled, standing up and slowly making his way to the window. Renji noted the thoughtful look on his face as he stared outside. "Byakuya-bou puts others first before himself. He takes too much pride in his oaths that he's always at a loss when he had to make humane decisions. And then he makes the most logical one at the expense of his own happiness."

"Three days ago, Byakuya ventured outside _Seireitei_  to seek me out and demanded I read and sign a proposal he made. I couldn't say no, because for the first time since I've known him, I saw fire burning in his eyes." He continued. "Besides, the things he thought of were a lot better than the system being implemented right now. He's really a great planner, Little Byakuya."

"Things?" Renji echoed dumbly. This was too much to take in just one sitting. His head was already hurting and they still weren't mentioning anything about him being captain.

Gin turned back to him and grinned. "The Third Division still guards the gates, but must aid in compiling and studying the annals of history. The group will join the Kuchiki clan in maintaining the books and organising catalogues. Boring job, but pretty interesting since we are talking about history here. The Ninth's load will lighten enough for them to stop obsessing over the printing presses and do some actual data collection which is what their job description originally dictates." He sauntered towards the locked door. "The Third Division's sizeable force will be split. Half would serve through guarding the gates and the rest are to serve in the Kuchiki Manor's extensive libraries, with group switches every six months. That's why even as a captain, Yamamoto scoffed at you being in it."

The redhead's eyes narrowed. " _Oi_ , Ichimaru-san, I'm not that inept –"

"The paperwork you submit is always returned. Even Yamamoto-taichou knows about it." The Imperial Spy snickered, hand mockingly covering his mouth as he did. "Oh well, that's that I guess. At least for my part. I have to go back and talk to the old man about some more stuff. Sorry, yeah? _Bai-bai_ ~"

It had been months since he had last heard that line, but it still made Renji bristle. Settling on a vague wave, he watched as the fox-faced former captain stepped out of the room, closing the door quietly. He turned to Ukitake, now smiling at him fondly. "What?" He asked defensively.

"You don't dislike him as much anymore." The captain commented.

"Well, he was useful." Renji muttered grudgingly. Shifting positions. His legs were beginning to numb from sitting on it for too long. Apparently he had never gotten used to this even after all those infernal afternoons drinking tea.  _Was Kuchiki-taichou in his own little way, trying to help me get used to sitting formally?_ He wondered, grows furrowing. 

"He's a good man." The blonde allowed. "That's why Byakuya also asked for his help in this. They're quite the same, you see. They put others before themselves. He willingly betrayed people so he could do his assigned work, even if he knew the world would end up hating and distrusting him because of it."

"…" Renji just nodded, unable to say anything intelligent.

There was a moment of thoughtful silence before Ukitake breached the wall of tension hanging between them. "Do you know why Byakuya chose to end things this way?"

"Freedom." He answered flatly, looking away. "His freedom."

The other sighed. "Looking at you now, I guess I'm right in thinking it's caging as well." Ukitake scooted closer towards him, eyes alight with worry. "But Abarai-kun," He murmured. "If everything that had just transpired didn't happen, how do you see yourself five years from now?"

The question shot ice up his spine. It was the same question Byakuya had asked him weeks ago. "I –"

"Do you see yourself still lagging behind your captain? Taking orders from him and being regarded only as second best?" Ukitake asked gently. "Your character does not permit it, Abarai-kun. I know you plan on becoming one of the strongest if not the only, so you could help and protect those you care for the most. If another Aizen, a more powerful Aizen, comes and you remain as you are, would you be able to do so?"

"But I don't need position for that." Renji retorted, shaking his head. "I have mastered my _bankai_ without being captain!"

"I know, Abarai-kun." Came the gentle response. "But do you remember all those times when you felt powerless knowing you only have a limited area to move around? Do you remember the whole Rukia episode?"

"I –"

"Do you remember the time you ventured into the Fifth Division's territory when the hollow you were battling with managed to slip away from your grasp?"

Renji's eyes widened at the memory and he reached out to clutch at Ukitake's sleeve. Tightly. "He got into trouble because of me, didn't he?"

"Yes. He remained under probation until this afternoon."

He let go and his eyes narrowed. "I knew it! But why didn't he say anything? He said it was nothing and I believed him!" Then he stilled, a hand covering his mouth in seeming realisation. "Then all those times –"

The blonde nodded, gazing at him sympathetically.

"Why?"

"Because he also wants you to grow without worries. He took full responsibility for all your actions because he sees you worthy. He recognised your potential and acknowledged your strength." Ukitake revealed. "And now that you know how to move on your own, he figured it was time he passed his division in safe hands and continued the work his clan was originally entrusted with to fulfill his oath to his ancestors."

"It's a relief knowing he won't be exiled by his clan, but why this way? We could've settled it without worries or spilling blood."

"Byakuya told me a lot of things about you these past few days, Abarai-kun." The captain's voice was soft and almost wistful. "He said you are limited by your perception that he's the one you should look up to; the one you must try to surpass. He said if you didn't understand the fact that he is just like everyone else, fallible, you wouldn't be free from the bonds you tied not to his real self, but to the person you perceived him to be."

"But that's…"

"If you somehow defeat him, he said, then, it would mean that not only are you stronger than he is, but the better person to lead your division because you have enough conviction and determination to reach your goals. If not, he would try again after some time."

Renji was silent as he digested the other's words and after a few moments, he spoke. "But it's too cruel, isn't it, Ukitake-taichou?"

Ukitake shook his head, laying a hand on his bowed head.

"Through the years you two worked together, he had been teaching you lessons, Abarai-kun. He had always been preparing you for this; that's why no matter what you do, no matter how many times you try to trounce or kill him, he would fight you to the best of his abilities and never think of harming you completely – he never had. He asked me to relay this message to you, and I quote; "There is one last lesson you should learn, Renji,"

The redhead looked up at him, eyes filled with something akin to self-loathing.

"The most important lesson of all…" The Thirteenth Division captain shook his head and patted his red locks reassuringly before pointing straight to the approaching dawn visible through the window. "After passing the greatest test of your life all that remains to be done is move forward. Stand firm, tall, and strong enough to bear the responsibility of your actions henceforth."

Ukitake smiled and nodded encouragingly. "Renji-kun, hold your head up, live your life, and perform your duties while following your own path, because from this point forward **you are free**!"

**OxxxOxxxO**

The pain was excruciating but it was nothing he couldn't manage.

With careful fingers, he poked his side and his skin encountered heavy bandaging. It stung even more and he immediately murmured soft words of apology. Sighing, he stared up at the ceiling – the same ceiling he had been staring at since Urahara and the others left for the assembly hours ago. He wondered briefly on how Renji took the news. Byakuya felt guilty about not asking for permission, but it was better this way. After all his efforts, his former vice-captain was still refusing the promise of captaincy even if it was all too evident that he wanted it, and had been wanting it, for a long time now.

Earlier, Unohana poked her head briefly to check on him and give an update on what had happened. She said he may not be an official part of Gotei 13 anymore, but he needed to know everything because he was also involved in its affairs, even more so now than before.

She was right. He was going to stay involved too even after everything settled down. He was looking forward to picking up his late father's work and watching his former division flourish under Renji's capable hands. 

Renji.

The guilt was there again and his pierced side throbbed in response. He had placed a huge responsibility on his shoulders, but he was sure he would carry it the best way he knew how. A small smile stretched his lips and he opened his eyes, turning his gaze towards the sky visible through the window.

 _Dawn will be here soon._ He thought fondly.  _A promise of a new day…_

**OxxxOxxxO**

Renji had just stepped out of the Thirteenth Division premises when a sudden presence alerted him and his hands immediately went to the hilt of his _zanpakutou_. With cautious eyes, he scanned the area, only to settle on the familiar tattooed face of his former academy senpai. Slowly, he relaxed his stance and bowed in respectfully.

"Very good, Renji." Hisagi Shuuhei chuckled and took lightning steps forward, a hand reaching out to ruffle the other's ponytail. "Wanna join me for a walk?"

"A walk?" Renji was stumped. "This early in the morning?"

The Ninth Division captain grinned back in response, moving ahead in a silent invitation for him to follow. Thinking it would probably rest his jangled nerves, Renji decided to relent, hurrying his pace and eventually catching up to the one he greatly admired during his academy days. They walked side by side in companionable silence, each immersed in his own train of thought as the early morning dew clung to them, showering them through the small gusts of dawn's gentle wind.

Renji had to wonder why they were doing such thing at this time of day. Maybe his senpai knew how he was feeling, especially since this was all too sudden, or maybe he just wanted someone to accompany him and he was the first soul he came across. He was still deliberating on what it might be when Hisagi's voice cut through his contemplation.

"Do you see that mound over there?"

He looked up and followed the direction the other was pointing at and nodded, confused. He had no recollection of ever venturing this far out in such a short period of time. He was so immersed in his thoughts that he hadn't been paying too much attention to his surroundings. An embarrassed flush tainted his cheeks, and he was thankful that Hisagi didn't notice in the dim light of the slowly rising sun.

It took only a few lightning steps to get there and soon enough, Renji was looking down on a strange marker protruding from the mound. Said marker was cloaked by the thick mist which was probably why he was unable to recognise it earlier.

"A grave?" He turned to the other man, who nodded at him almost absently, eyes glued at the wooden epitaph.

"Here lies Touzen-taichou." Hisagi murmured. He glanced at the younger _Shinigami_ and smiled ruefully. "No, not the physical body – I disposed of it during the Great War myself."

Renji stiffened. It was a touchy issue, but this man was opening up to him. A great deal of respect flooded his insides and he nodded in acknowledgment. The Ninth Division captain recognised it as a signal to continue and he turned his gaze to the brightening horizon. "This is where Touzen-taichou buried his friend, the one he pledged allegiance and justice when you and I were mere children. But for me and Komamura-taichou, this is the place where he buried his old self.

I used to talk to the one underneath this patch of earth and ask him why _taichou_ turned out the way he did. I didn't get any answer, but after a few days of wondering, it dawned upon me that this does not only represent life lost but also a life filled with much pain and suffering; a life of heavy burden. He buried it here so he could follow his own path, the path to his own justice." Hisagi said softly, early morning wind wafting through his hair, making them rustle quietly.

At that instant, Renji thought his senpai looked really old, older than his _Shinigami_ years, and he felt a twinge of sympathy. "Hisagi-senpai…"

As if burnt, the other turned to him, fire flaring in his eyes. "You feel for me, don't you, Renji?" 

The redhead took an involuntary step back, eyes widening as he registered the filigree of madness in the depths of the other man's soul. They stared at each other, one pushing forward, the other faltering under the scorching pain of darkened eyes that knew much guilt and suffering. "No, I –"

"You do." Then as if zapped, it went away, threading through the wind as if it never manifested. "But Renji, don't you think you're seeing it in just a single angle?" He dropped down on one knee and stared at the unmarked epitaph. "I have thought about it for a long time now… and I deduced that I've been looking at it the same way you currently do."

"Senpai…?" Renji murmured slowly, unsure of what he meant.

"I am not pitiful." Hisagi started. "Nor is Komamura-taichou. In fact, we are both lucky we knew someone like Touzen-taichou." He stood up and brushed his yukata. "Because we understood that the true meaning of the word 'free' is the act of burying your past burdens and starting anew, living conscientiously and doing things that most content you."

It felt as if some weight dropped from his shoulders. "Do you think I'm lucky, senpai? The ' **me** ' that stands before you now?"

As the sun cast its first rays on Hisagi Shuuhei's tattooed face, a genuinely confident grin played on his lips. "Yes. You're real lucky." Came the unwavering response.

"Why?" Renji couldn't help ask as his companion reached out to pat him reassuringly on the head.

"Because you were blessed with a captain who didn't just want to free his own self from suffocating bonds, but desired to unshackle those who are important to him as well."

**OxxxOxxxO**

"Byakuya-kun,"

He immediately turned towards the door and lifted his hand in response. His spirits brightened. It was Ukitake.

"Yo, Sleeping Beauty!"

... And Urahara.

He rolled his eyes. "Why did you bring him?" He muttered, directing the question to the older _Shinigami_. "He still needs training."

"So cold, Byakucchin!" the mad scientist intoned, clutching his heart as if in pain. "You do not understand my feelings! How could you say something like that to someone who cares for you?"

" _ **You're**_ the one who doesn't understand that your theatrics are annoying."

" _Maa, Maa_ ," Ukitake grinned sheepishly, holding up his hands in surrender, tone placating. "Urahara-kun, please try to be more quiet. Byakuya-kun, try to be more forgiving. Okay?"

"Fine." The two chorused, exasperatedly.

The older blonde laughed, shaking his head, wondering how he had been in charge of such stubborn kids. He pulled a chair, set it right beside Byakuya's bed and sat down gracefully. "Well, Unohana-taichou told us you wanted to talk. What is it about?"

"I want to go back to my house."

Both men sobered and stared at the patient thoughtfully before exchanging skeptical looks.

Byakuya was staring at the lightening sky, eyes rueful and lips curved downward in melancholy. What was it that was plaguing him so bad? Why did he want to go home when he could recuperate here under the capable hands of Unohana and Isane? 

But to some extent, Urahara understood. He took off his hat and played with it absently. There were times when solitude was vital, and he wouldn't blame Byakuya if he felt like he wanted to be alone. Seeing people you do not personally know going in and out of your room and treating your wounds didn't do much for a defeated man's morale. He could still remember facing Konjiki Ashisogi Jizou in an unofficial battle before he was formally exiled to the human world. He remembered wanting to be alone, or strictly with with no one but Kurosaki Isshin and Shihouin Yoruichi for company… and oftentimes Akon.

He didn't technically lose the battle, but he didn't tell the stupid clown that the old man sealed some of his powers away by law, something that would be taken away upon his arrival at human world. Now, this man lying down so solemnly before him probably felt the same way, if the lack of lustre in his eyes was any indication. This request however seemed to stem from something much more than pride.

"Are you sure, Byakuya-bou?" He asked softly, surprising Ukitake and prompting the latter to glance at him quickly before settling once again on the contemplative form of the Kuchiki heir. He was eyeing him, every movement being recorded in his mind, Urahara noted.

He couldn't blame Ukitake's hesitance either. After all, he had practically raised him, along with Shiba Kaien. Considering that the latter's fate had been short of brutal, he probably didn't want the surviving one sink further into depression and defeat than he already was. 

As if on cue, the former captain turned back to them; a small reassuring smile touching his lips.

"It would be best if I stay away from the Fourth Division for a long while."

**OxxxOxxxO**

The induction was supposed to be scheduled that morning, but he asked Hisagi to request Ukitake to put it on hold until he returned in a few days. He knew the paperwork would be stacked by then and he would get an earful from Yamamoto Genryuusai, but he had to find peace for himself first before everything else.

They parted ways half an hour before breakfast was served in the refectory. Renji had a lot of things to think about and a number of things to figure out, so he decided to wander off alone. And maybe pick up a few cents from those who may have a lot of say on this matter. Like Rukia, which was virtually impossible since he didn't exactly know how she would react and he didn't want to die any time soon. Urahara was here, but he knew he would be even more confused what with that guy's weird riddles and suggestive looks.

_And then there's Kurosaki Ichigo._

His eyes lit up at the realisation that maybe, just maybe, the guy would be willing to listen to his woes. After all, he had defeated Kuchiki Byakuya in battle before and the latter losing to someone else would be an interesting incident. They had been sort of sparring partners during the war and had gained mutual respect in battle. They had also exchanged ideas on certain issues concerning blades, brains, brawn… and those things that come between, like life and that other cheesy L-word (which was something Ichigo introduced on his own. No, he did not even care for such thing. Nope).

He snorted as he set off toward the gates.

_He'd definitely understand._

**OxxxOxxxO**

It was not as bumpy as he imagined it to be. Soon enough, he was back on his own bed, head resting on his own goose-down pillow and enjoying the peaceful atmosphere of his own room. He wanted to see how things would progress; he wanted to hear from this place what was transpiring from the Sacred Mount, where the induction would take place this morning.

However, Ukitake told him a not-so-baffling fact: Abarai Renji asked for it to be moved when he returned from Soul King knew where.

In a way he understood why the younger _Shinigami_ wanted some time off before plowing through his duties. Previously, he had always wandered off alone when faced with something he deemed insurmountable, conversing with people on his experiences and meditating upon it until he found some clarity, some semblance of stability in his emotions. Similar to what happened with Rukia – twice. First before they met the Kurosaki boy and the next when he obviously wanted to snag her for his own happiness.

In both times, Byakuya noted with a small measure of guilt, he had dabbled in the affair and doubled the redhead's troubles wherein at some point, the new captain wished him dead. He sighed, propping himself up, wincing as some of his muscles pulled in protest. He clenched his teeth but continued anyway, a wry smile creeping into his face as he finally had his back to the wall. Looks like he wouldn't be rid of me after all. He mused. _In some ways, you never did change… it'd be a miracle if you will._

"Isn't that so," He whispered almost inaudibly. "Renji…?"

**OxxxOxxxO**

_**ACHOO!** _

Came the particularly loud sneeze. In the corner of his eye, he saw a white ghost-like cat bristle, running away scared, and scampering up an unfortunate family's red-lanterned window.

Renji groaned as he picked himself up from his sprawled position on the cold, hard, asphalt road and glared at the sky spitefully. "One of these days, I'm gonna halve that friggin' black ball." He swore, levering himself with great difficulty. 

As per usual, he had the worst luck when it came to unannounced visits to the human world. It was evening here whereas in Soul Society, the sun had just risen. This three-world thing was more complicated than he initially thought. 

Sighing, he stood up, ignoring the protest of his tailbone, wondering absently if his _gigai_ was damaged.  _This is going to be a **long** night_.

**OxxxOxxxO**

"Kurosaki Clinic… must be around here somewhere…" He muttered in irritation, eyeing the endless rows of establishments and houses lining Karakura Town. It was ridiculous, he knew. He was lost in such a small place.

He felt like Zaraki Kenpachi without the creepy eye patch.

 _At least he has the cotton candy of a midget to blame._ He thought exasperatedly. _I'm the fucking idiot who travelled alone._  He had stayed at the Kurosaki household twice before, but still couldn't navigate around the neighbourhood's twists and turns. He swore, if in five minutes he hasn't found it, he was going to give up and go back to _Seireitei_!

Then, as if Enma Daiou himself saw his plight and performed a miracle, the minute he turned the corner, there it was, in huge letters, spelling out the most precious name to his tired feet at the moment. It was next to the house with the red lantern.

It was the exact same place he landed earlier.

Cheeks flushing in embarrassment, he stalked towards the closed door and gave the doorbell an irritated push, muttering about stupid cats, stupid maps and even stupider _gigai_. 

Suddenly, the door opened and he squinted in surprise at the light on his face. It was Kurosaki Isshin, the one and only, grinning from ear to ear as if he knew exactly who he was and why he was standing on his doorstep this time of night. He could clearly see Ichigo's little sister Yuzu peeking shyly from inside the house and gave her a small wave. The older ~~pervert~~   _shinigami_ probably mistook it as something meant for him for he squealed like a small excited child and opened the door wide. Isshin's arms were spread wide as if to embrace him, and Renji took a hasty step back, arms waving denial in front of his face to ward him off.

"Wait, wait! I was waving at Yuzu!"

The other man instantly calmed down and frowned, obviously displeased and somewhat jealous. "What, no wave for me?" he asked, trying to pout cutely and miserably failing. Renji thought he looked like a bearded fish. A vein of irritation popped on his forehead. Taking a deep breath, he straightened to the most dignified pose he could muster and bowed respectfully to the man who had once been a part of the Gotei 13.

"Kurosaki-san." He acknowledged, prompting the other to grin at him in response. "Good evening."

"Hi there, captain!" Isshin greeted him enthusiastically, moving forward and clapping him soundly on the shoulder. "To what do we honour this visit?"

"Umm, hello…" Renji swayed for a moment, taken aback, wondering how the news spread so quickly when it only happened a few hours ago. He cleared his throat to mask his confusion. "Is Ichigo in?"

The doctor's face was enveloped in surprise and stared, probably wondering what his son had done this time. After a few moments of deliberation, he must have found the answer he was looking for in Renji's uncertain eyes and immediately whipped out a little black notebook from his back pocket. He waved it before him triumphantly with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Well, Ichigo's not here at the moment, but I know where he is!"

"Ah, my trusty ally!" He exclaimed, rubbing his cheek on the leather-bound notebook before finally opening it, wetting the tip of his index finger as he turned over every two pages. "Now, where is it…? Irino… Iriya… Isao… Isshikawa – no wait, I jumped a few names… let's see… Ah, here it is! **ISHIDA**!"

" _ **Ishida**_?" Renji echoed almost dumbly. "As in _**Uryuu**_? As in _**Quincy**_?"

"Yes-yes~!" Isshin grinned. "Ishida Uryuu! He's gone to his place earlier and called me up to say he's gonna stay over there for the night."

Renji finally found the will to speak after a few moments of shocked silence. His lips were dry and he felt like the world had just spun out of control. _Why are those two together? I thought they're enemies after Ishida nearly killed him?_ Things were getting even more complicated than he initially thought. He shook his head as if to clear it and smiled wanly in gratitude at the older Kurosaki. 

"Oh," He started. "I see… uh, is it possible to, y'know, get Ishida's –"

"First house at Akamine Street." Isshin stated readily.

"How do I –"

"Easy!" Came the smart response. "Karakura General Hospital is a couple of blocks from here. Turn right at the next avenue then turn again to the first street on your right. When you see the huge white house that looks like a mausoleum, press the gate buzzer thingamabob and ask the grouchy guy who will answer the door. Ichigo's gotta be inside." The older man was snickering, and frankly, Renji was afraid the directions were wrong.

Something in his head was telling him to run away toward the other direction (or back to _Seireitei_ at least…). With the way Isshin was grinning, he could tell something in the Ishida Household was going to eat him alive. Maybe a hollow? Maybe it was an Arrancar… or maybe it was a Vizard. It was one of those times Renji wanted to be like Hanatarou – wimpy and all that but certainly with common sense.

Subtly, he cleared his throat and frowned, making a brave face as he did. "Hospital. Right. Right. Big house-mausoleum thing. Use buzzer thingamabob. Got it. Thank you _ojiisan_!" He nodded and hurriedly ran off. He had just gotten halfway to the next block when an outraged cry echoed from behind.

" **I'M NOT THAT OLD!** "

**OxxxOxxxO**

It was lunchtime when a particularly loud sound echoed in the hallway. Surprised, Byakuya looked up, spoon dripping, halfway to his mouth. Steam from the soup blurring his vision as he stared at his closed door. A strong thump heralded a series of loud heartbeats that rung in his ears. If there was enough noise to waken the dead, then _ **he**_ might be outside, wanting to have an audience with him.

Slowly, and cleanly, he set his spoon back into his bowl of steaming hot chicken consommé and waited with bated breath. The footsteps were loud and somewhat sounding hurried and irritated, and they approached quickly. There was something off about it, he thought. It was possible it wasn't _**him**_ , but considering everything that had happened, it just might be.

Then the footsteps stopped right outside his door. His heartbeat sped up in anticipation and he swallowed, his mouth suddenly too dry for him to bear. His lips felt like they were cracking from lack of moisture and for a brief moment, he wondered if his hair looked alright. His inner voice was sounding suspiciously vain, but he didn't care. This was more important than anything else.

The wooden door slid open almost vehemently, and as he laid eyes on the one who had the audacity to terrorise his keepers, for the first time since he started receiving his own guests, he felt a strong surge of disappointment.

But then it was gone.

It wasn't the vibrant red hair he was hoping for but it was something he didn't expect. At all.

 **Bells**.

Lots of them, strung haphazardly to the ends of spiky hair reeking of cheap lily-scented pomade.

"Yo, Kuchiki- _baka_ , 'ya dead yet?"

Irritation plagued his senses at the childish name-calling and sighed. "Zaraki Kenpachi of the Nameless Sword."

The Eleventh Division captain stomped forward, slamming the door behind him in distaste. "Y'know, if only ya weren't injured, I'd stab all the crap outta 'ya!" He groaned as he plopped noisily on the tatami floor a few feet away from his bed. "And by the way, 'ya snot-nosed blue blood, my _zanpakutou_ has a name now. So what ya just said should be in past tense! Just like ya bein' captain of the Sixth!"

That stopped his wit from attacking – cold. _It's true… and I'm not offended at all… I wonder why…_

While the silence stretched, all Byakuya had the presence of mind to do was give him a thoughtful gaze and pick up his spoon to take a sip of his soup. Strangely enough, if it was unappetising before, it seemed delicious now, this broth. He eyed the bowl quizzically, trying to understand the phenomena by the amount of oil floating on the soup's surface.

The silence though, seemed to somehow unnerve the twitchy lump glaring at him nearby.

"Oi, don't go drippy on me, Kuchiki, I know ya got your angst and all, but hell if I let ya play mind games with me. C'mon, spit it out, what's in that uptight ass of yours?"

He had full knowledge that he had just been called a severe person, since he had heard that phrase a lot when Renji was complaining about the huge load of paperwork returned by Hitsugaya Toushirou a few months back. It was offensive on several levels and was no different from the current trap the rough Zaraki had sprung. Once again, strangely, he didn't feel the least bit offended.

This was just Zaraki Kenpachi, asking him in his own crude way what he was thinking about and why he didn't fire back the way he usually did when he was being antagonistic. A devilish thought entered his mind and he smiled inwardly, deciding to bite.  _We're playing this game then._

"A huge thing you wouldn't even begin to comprehend, you Neanderthal."

Slowly, the stunned look that immediately dawned over Zaraki's features faded and an equally devilish grin twisted his cracked lips. In a boisterous show of acceptance, he threw his head back and laughed, bells tinkling like a sweet melody, contrasting against the coarseness of their owner's voice. "Hey, hey, slow down Kuchiki – ya still lack a way with words!" He guffawed, leaning forward and clutching his stomach, doubled up with apparent hilarity. "Ya could've just said ' **tree** '!"

Retort obviously backfiring, Byakuya threw his spoon at him and glared, unable to conjure a proper comeback.

"Die, Zaraki." 

**OxxxOxxxO**

_No fucking way am I going in there!_ Renji thought as he faced the greatest adversary he may have the chance of facing in his entire _Shinigami_ lifetime. _Even if he invited me, I most definitely wouldn't! He'll kill me for sure!_

He was now face to face with the creepiest Quincy in the whole world. _Well okay, there are only two surviving Quincy as far as I know, but hey, Ishida Uryuu isn't as scary as this guy! Does he eat Shinigami for breakfast?_

Ishida Ryuuken, in all his prodigious glory.

"Umm… no, it's okay, Thank you… sir. Umm… I just want to see Ichigo…" He fidgeted. Holding up his hands in a gesture of submissiveness. He may now be a captain but making an enemy of this guy would end up in a catastrophe. Probably with a huge gaping hole through his torso. Beads of sweat lined his temples.

"Ichigo?" The passive face gave way to unmistakable irritation. The man's eyes were positively horrific in the most paralyzing way.

Similar to his encounter with Isshin, Renji took a hasty step back, fearing not for his virtue this time but for his very life.

"Why do you think that  _ **boy**_ is in my home?" he uttered the world 'boy' as if it was poison. Renji flinched, smiling hesitantly.

"Umm, well, Kurosaki-san, I mean, Kurosaki Isshin from a few blocks away told me Ichigo's here, so…"

That dogged Ryuuken even further. His eyes were now spitting fire. " _ **ISSHIN**_?!" He growled in a low voice. "He said his stupid _**son**_ is in _**my**_ home?"

"Umm… yeah…? I mean, YES! Yes." Renji almost whispered, correcting his response and taking another step back. The Quincy clan sure was frightening. Were all of them, when still alive that is, this fearsome?

He must be looking terribly pathetic, sweating like a pig; for the older man suddenly seemed to switch personalities and tried his best to calm himself. It took a minute of breathing before he succeeded and back were his usual passive features - and his wise eyes. "Well," Ryuuken sighed, shaking his head. "Fortunately, contrary to what Pervert-Beard told you, he's not here. _**Unfortunately**_ , he's with Uryuu. He went with a bunch of other people. Classmates, I believe."

Renji breathed a sigh of relief upon noticing that calm had finally settled. But he still couldn't find Ichigo. _That bastard… I'm gonna kill him when I see him – Ishida or no Ishida!_ "Oh, I see, well, thank you sir." He bowed as politely as he could under the circumstances. "Sorry for not being able to, umm, accept your invitation to come in and rest, umm…thank you again… sir."

When he straightened, their eyes met. It took a few moments to register that Ryuuken was smiling softly. "You're Abarai Renji, am I correct?" He asked, to which the redhead nodded, dumbstruck that his name was actually remembered. "You're rougher than the young Kuchiki and you need to learn how to interact with others more."

"…" At that, Renji's eyes widened. _How did he –_

"But you'll be fine." Ryuuken voiced out his thoughts firmly. "You'll definitely exceed him in matters of captaincy if you learn your past lessons. He had made the right choice."

"Thank... you…?"

"Good luck then, Abarai-taichou."

"Wait… how did you –?"

"Look for someone wearing a pale blue kimono shot with golden threads. There, you'll find the Kurosaki boy."

And with that, the huge oaken door closed.

**OxxxOxxxO**

"Oh, so that's why weird things just happened!" Zaraki, finally finding a proper seat, rocked the wooden chair with him as he straddled it. "It's a good thing that guy's captain now – well, no offence, but he's been aiming for it for a long time, ya know!"

"I know." Byakuya acknowledged. His half-finished soup was being taken away by a kitchen helper and in a matter of seconds, he was once again left alone with the Eleventh Division captain. "That's why I did what I did."

Zaraki's single visible eye gazed at him thoughtfully, critically. "I'm not too savvy on emotions and all that crap, but y'know, Renji's gonna take it badly. He's a real softy, if ya know what I mean."

"Softy?"

"Yeah. He actually got out of my nest –"

"You mean **clutches**."

" _ **NEST**_." Zaraki reiterated, scowling. "Stop it with all those snippy comments, Byakuya-baka."

"Fine. Go ahead."

"What am I saying again?"

Byakuya sighed. "Renji being a softy."

"Oh, right." Zaraki nodded, mostly to himself. "Well, as I was saying, that guy's a total softy. He got out of my wing –"

"Nest."

The other man glared at him, promising a slow painful death; to which Byakuya merely raised a brow in a gesture of defiance before finally shaking his head and gesturing for him to continue.

"He just got out, okay? Nest, wing, clutches, whatever. So, anyway, he did that because he was too into your sister. D'ya know that?"

"I know."

"But as time passed, instead of wanting to tear her away from ya, well, the shrimp decided to defeat ya as well, prove who's a better man and all that being captain crap."

That wasn't news to Byakuya either, so he just nodded and let him continue his too obvious tale.

"But after the war, I noticed he had changed, y'know, sort of like, too sweet and lovey-dovey with ya –"

The young Kuchiki's eyes widened. "What?"

"It's like you're a precious person and all that jazz." Zaraki continued, his eyes turned inwards, searching his memory for something he may have forgotten. And then, that lone eye lit up and the edge in it suddenly left, replaced by a flash of something resembling softness before hardening to its usual level gleam. "And then there was that drunken thing Ikkaku and Yachiru mentioned weeks ago –"

"What thing?"

"Will ya let me finish?" The hulking captain groaned exasperatedly. "Sheesh!"

"Fine, go on."

"As I was saying, yeah, Ikkaku said Renji looked really disturbed by something, and he was brooding like ya wouldn't believe. Then, next thing he knew, the guy was face down on the tavern table muttering like crazy. But he caught some pretty interesting stuff."

His heart was pounding. Byakuya didn't know if he was breathing or he had just died again as he waited for what it was that his former subordinate once said in a drunken stupor. 

"Renji said ' _furthering yourself, my foot_ ', ' _fucker, acting all cool_ ', ' _Pretty_ ', and last was ' _Byakuya_ '." Zaraki grinned slyly. "Friggin' weird if ya ask me... but it's different with ya, ain't it?"

This time, Byakuya really couldn't properly breathe.

**OxxxOxxxO**

Renji couldn't breathe.

He had just sprinted through what seemed like another labyrinth until he finally found the town plaza where the festival was being held. And then he circled the entire area for the third time until finally, _**finally**_ , he found who he was looking for.

There it was, the pale blue kimono, shot with golden threads.

But then he couldn't really look anymore.

Renji squeezed his eyes close as he saw said kimono riding high up a pale, slender leg, being held up by a darker hand whose fingers had gathered the entire thing from the hem in loose folds. He must've leaked his energy, for a flurry of movements followed and the unmentionable noises he had just been subjected to halted. Throats were cleared and he wondered if it was safe.

"Renji – what are you doing here?!" The unmistakeable voice of Kurosaki Ichigo sounded; its tone light and airy.

"Well, I was supposed to ask your opinion about something, but I just saw you doing – _**him**_ , so here I am. Is it still X-rated?"

"Abarai-kun!" Ishida Uryuu exclaimed in a scandalised voice.

"What? It's true!" He cried out defensively. "You guys were swapping spit and heaven knows what else – wait, is it safe to open my eyes now?"

"Yeah, yeah, open them. Jeez, you're not a kid anymore, Renji!" Ichigo groaned. "Besides, we weren't swapping spit; I was just helping him, erm…"

"He was helping me get some dirt out of my eye!" Uryuu retorted indignantly.

"Eh? And I suppose you have dirt under your kimono too since this guy's hand was –"

That earned him an uppercut from the orange blob that suddenly blurred out of nowhere. "Enough!" Ichigo sighed. "We get it! Sorry. But you should've waited in my place instead of looking for me like this, you know!"

"You should've tried groping Ishida in your place instead of out here you moron! What if someone other than me saw you guys manhandling – stop pointing that damned thing at me! I'm just saying!" He protested as he felt the first pinprick of Quincy energy. Sure enough, when he turned, the telltale arrow was there, targeting the invisible bulls-eye right smack in the middle of his forehead.

"Can I shoot him? Just once, _na_ , Ichigo?" The bespectacled boy asked, glaring at him.

"No you can't." Ichigo sighed once again, calming him down with a warm hand on his arm. "Put that down. Renji, apologise."

"Sor-ry." He rolled his eyes. _It wasn't even my fault_. He thought, irritated. It wasn't lost on the bristling Quincy.

"I'm going to kill him." Uryuu declared resolutely, preparing another arrow. "I'm going to shoot him and my ancestors will be proud."

Panicking slightly, Ichigo had no choice but to hold down the pale arms and glare pointedly at Renji. "Look, stop it okay, guys? What is it about, Renji, why were you looking for me?" He pushed Uryuu down until the latter was seated on the grass and he did the same right beside him, patting the spot across them in invitation. "Sit. Sit."

Renji sighed and sat down, feeling drained in an instant. "Well," He started. "Me and Kuchiki-taichou got into this huge fight."

Ichigo nodded. "Nothing new. Go on."

"We came to blows, and like, used _bankai_ and stuff."

"Okay, again, nothing new. And –?"

"I won."

"Good for you."

"I _**won**_." Renji repeated, trying to get the message across to one of Seireitei's _ryouka_ heroes.

"That's good, isn't it?"

"I'm now the captain of the Sixth Division." He said slowly. 

"Congratulations – _**WHAT**_?!" Ichigo's eyes widened to the point of popping and he scooted back in disbelief. "You _**DEFEATED**_ Kuchiki Byakuya?!"

"Well, yeah."

The silence that followed was thick and it remained that way until Ichigo grinned uncertainly. "Then why do you seem bothered? Shouldn't you be celebrating?"

"Well, you see, it's not that simple…"

**OxxxOxxxO**

It took a few minutes before everything began sinking in. His thoughts were on hyperdrive and all he could do was stare at the spot Zaraki had just left a couple of minutes ago. The Eleventh Division captain was dragged away by his fukutaichou upon Yamamoto's orders.

The little girl smiled up at him cheerily and with one painful slap on his wounded side in a gesture of goodwill, she commanded her living gargantuan chariot to wheel out as quickly as possible. She even touched the bells on the tops of Zaraki's spikes, tittering without fear.

"Ask him about it if ya want, Kuchiki – it would probably be better if ya do." Was the man's parting words. Since then he hadn't moved an inch and continued staring at empty space.

His emotions were in turmoil. He wanted answers, fast; but the man in question was not really present. He would have to take a number and wait. He bowed his head and closed his eyes, ignoring the stinging that lingered upon contact with Kusajishi Yachiru's small palm.

> _**/"I want to be stronger, dammit – and I don't need position for that!"/** _

His head was filled with images of his former subordinate. He turned over each picture and remembered the exact time his mind decided to capture it, finally realising the existence of that one important thing he had never given freedom to manifest all these years.

> _**/"Ne, taichou... Are you in trouble? Is the division in trouble? Am I** _ __ _**in trouble?"/** _

A smile seeped into his face as he hugged himself.

> _**/"Wait taichou… what are you hinting at?"/** _

_We are not too different, you and I, aren't we… Renji?_

**OxxxOxxxO**

The first movement came from Uryuu. Slowly, he took off his glasses and meticulously cleaned them with his sleeve. Then, just as slowly, he put them back on and blinked twice before focusing once again on Renji's shadow-cast face.

"It really isn't a problem, Abarai-kun." He smiled sadly. "He did what was best for everyone."

"I know." The redhead huffed, turning away. "But this way… it's too difficult… and too difficult to bear."

"Well, Hisagi-san has the right deduction this time." He nodded thoughtfully. "However, I have to say that there isn't any problem here other than you."

"Me? I'm the one set up, you know!" He started to protest.

"That is precisely the problem." The Quincy chuckled. "You keep on thinking that things shouldn't be this way because Kuchiki-san was too selfish and imposed something so arduous on you. You think you are the victim and deserve to be fawned upon until you feel better about yourself… aren't _**you**_ the one being selfish?"

Renji couldn't speak.

Uryuu's thoughts about his issues were hard to take, but realisation finally dawned. His captain had been sacrificing a lot of things that was extremely important to him.

He sacrificed the time and effort he had given to the Sixth Division to ensure its continuous growth. He sacrificed fame and glory when he chose to live behind rows upon rows of books lining Seireitei's libraries. He sacrificed even with the looming wrath of his clan in order to cater to the one thing that linked the entirety of Soul Society: thoroughly recorded information.

He sacrificed his dignity, for he wasn't an official captain anymore. He may be the one in charge of a multitude of things, and may be on the same level as a captain (probably even more), but he was just an ordinary part of the system now. The only thing that was holding his head up in terms of society was his title as clan leader and successor to the house of Kuchiki. 

No title other than being a nobleman when he needed another title to reaffirm himself as the powerful leader the clan elders desired.

No nothing.

He sacrificed the fame of the combative strength he carried when he instigated a battle for captaincy and defeated by his own subordinate who had been nipping at his heels for since they met.

And what was Renji doing?

Obsessing over the fact that he felt like a victim in a huge conspiracy.

But how was he supposed to handle this huge responsibility without feeling this pain and this guilt?

"But you feel guilty, don't you?" Ichigo asked softly. "I felt the same before when I somehow defeated those I knew were a lot stronger than I am, people more important than I am." He chuckled dryly. "But then I realised there was no place for guilt. After all, I never cheated."

The scenes from his fateful battle played in his head for the umpteenth time since last night. He didn't cheat. He didn't trick anyone. It was an honest battle, and he remembered fighting for his own life. It was either he won or he ended up a beyond Fourth Division repair, or worse, dead.

He looked up at him, eyes wide.

"Stop denying the truth, Renji." Ichigo grinned as their eyes met. "You won fair and square, didn't you? You deserve this, you know. This is your prize."

"But I didn't sign up –"

"But wasn't it what you've always wanted?" Uryuu asked pointedly. "It wasn't about Rukia, nor being a better man, was it? You've always wanted to win against him in a real battle, haven't you?"

 _I wanted to win against him mainly because of Rukia… but that was a long time ago._ He had always wanted to be the better man between him and his former captain. He didn't need a title for that and they both knew it. So what was it that he wanted all this time? Was it really power?

_No._

Then what was it?

"Through thinking it over? What was it that you wanted, Renji?" Ichigo laughed. "Do you need me to answer for you?"

 _His acceptance. His favour._ _His respect._ Renji stared, eyes now clearer than it ever had been since that fateful afternoon Kuchiki Byakuya performed a tea ceremony for him. A smile was now easing through his features, brightening as if a huge burden had just been lifted from his shoulders. 

He shook his head firmly.  _I couldn't do anything with our previous status quo._

"I think it's kind of romantic, Abarai-kun." Uryuu chuckled, reaching out to pat his knee reassuringly. "Kuchiki-san wants to embrace those whom he loves. And now he has finally gotten his wish. Through his life and his work, he's going to embrace Soul Society with both arms… most of all, the one he had chosen personally to lead the flock he doted over since he was instated decades ago… he wants to embrace  _ **YOU**_."

**OxxxOxxxO**

It took him a few days to find himself.

His conversation on his first day with Ichigo and Uryuu made him realise a lot of things and that was what had led him to acceptance. This was his fate and it was inevitable. Before he slipped into the portal, flanked by his _ryouka_ friends, he spied a small inconspicuous figure lurking behind a sakura tree. If his eyes had not been fast enough, he might've missed it.

A grin brightened his face and he raised a hand in acknowledgment.

Kuchiki Rukia was there, a winning grin on her own face, holding up her thumbs in a gesture of approval. She supported him, and that was her way of saying it was okay, that she was looking forward to seeing him as a captain when she gets back to their own world. 

And for Renji, that was the proverbial icing on the cake.

They may not have conversed, but at that moment, he felt like another huge burden was lifted from his shoulders.

"Try not to get squashed by that stupid cleaning ball, you hear?" Ichigo called out as he slipped a foot into the portal's undulating silken surface. "And say hi to Byakuya for us!"

And he was in, running toward the other end of the tunnel. He was lucky this time – it wasn't being cleaned. He sprinted as fast as he could and soon enough, he was exiting the cloying space, eyes adjusting to the light and staring dumbfounded at what he found right outside the travel gates.

"What are you guys doing here? Aren't you supposed to be working?"

The only response to Renji's question was an exceptionally loud cheer that he thought must've reverberated throughout Seireitei.

"Our new captain is finally here!"

And the entire Sixth Division piled on him happily, their laughter and excitement not lost on those who saw them celebrating.

**OxxxOxxxO**

He had learned from Ukitake that Renji came back a couple of weeks ago, and he presumed that he had been taking care of the backlog on paperwork since he had been away for three whole Soul Society days. 

That was probably why he hadn't the time to visit him while he was resting in the manor. He could imagine the horror Renji must have felt upon seeing the mound of paperwork waiting for him, and a small smile stole into his face. It would've been really amusing.

It was a known fact among those around him that Byakuya was waiting for someone. It probably registered in everyone's mind that he looked positively disappointed when he saw the new visitors he had in sick bed didn't include anyone who had lightning tattoos on his face. 

He was waiting for Renji.

After receiving that glimmer of hope from Zaraki, he thought that for sure he wasn't alone, wasn't the only one feeling this way. It was the same feeling that drove him to understand his former vice-captain further. It was the same feeling that urged to ask him to go out after work for tea. It was the same feeling he had long since felt, the last of which was when Hisana was still alive. 

But it wasn't as if Ikkaku's story was proof.

After all, Renji might've just been thinking of some random person when he said 'pretty', and must've been too affected by his suggestion of becoming captain that his mind immediately switched over to his image and unknowingly blurted out his name.

But this hope was enough.

He didn't exactly know when and where it would happen, but their paths were sure to cross one of these days. _It may be futile, but even if chances are close to zero, I still haven't lost him_. He reminded himself. _When we meet I'll know for sure if we are created the same way._

Byakuya reached up on his toes, returning a book he had been reading to the topmost level of the nearby shelf. He had been told that he could finally work now, and so he didn't waste any more precious time wallowing in despair over not seeing the one person he wanted to see all this time. Finishing his task of returning the other three books, he walked away from the bookcase and was about to pick some more from the collections further back when the door suddenly opened.

His steps halted and he stiffened in surprise. The _reiatsu_ was familiar and its signature sucked the air out of his lungs. Slowly, he closed his eyes, steeling himself from turning around and seeing for himself that this moment was real.

He had finally come for him.

"Ichimaru-san said I can find you here."

"Renji." He started almost breathlessly. "Why are you here?"

There wasn't any answer, and in that single moment, he felt his blood freeze into ice. "'Why is he still alive?', 'Why did everything turn out this way?'" He murmured. "Are you asking those questions?"

"I don't need to. I did ask them before, but now I don't need to anymore. I understand." Came the soft response. There was a flurry of movements behind him and the door was immediately slammed shut and locked. "I finally understand everything you represent, Kuchiki-taichou…"

"You cannot call me that way anymore, Renji."

"Nor should you call me without a proper title, but you're doing it anyway." He could hear his voice clearly now, and he knew he was fast approaching. Byakuya wanted to run, but his feet remained rooted to the ground, as if he was bound by an invisible x-mark on the marble floors.

Warmth enveloped him. He could feel Renji's breath on his neck, moving slowly forward until it assaulted his cheek. Strong arms bound him from behind and at that exact point of contact, cheek against cheek, his eyes snapped open. They were wide and unfocused. "You came to laugh at me." He whispered softly. "You came to see how I look like without the formal white coat."

"Yeah, I did… and to tell you that I will now be the one who wears your coats. No more secretly trying them on." Renji chuckled, and the arms holding him shook slightly. "This is what I've always wanted, Kuchiki-taichou."

"…"

The redhead tightened his hold on him and he buried his face in the crook of Byakuya's neck. "This is what I've always wanted and you know it, don't you, _taichou_ " He whispered brokenly, voice muffled and every word embedded on his pale skin. "Be a captain, someone in equal terms with you in both paper and name. I wanted to be the one whom you could rely on when in need, someone who could formally ask for you when I am in need and someone whom you could ask for without questions when you're in need…"

"Renji..."

"It's best like this, isn't it?" Renji buried his head even deeper that Byakuya thought he was in danger of smothering. "But even if it is, you'll always be my captain, Kuchiki-taichou."

"Yes." Slowly, he shifted and turned around in his embrace, facing Renji completely. "Zaraki Kenpachi would not be happy when he hears that."

There was surprise in the redhead's eyes and Byakuya saw it. Slowly, a kooky grin bloomed on the former's face. "Then don't tell him I said that, _ne_ , Kuchiki-taichou."

"I'll try not to let it slip." His eyes softened as he surveyed the light in Renji's face. He allowed himself a small smile and shook his head. "You're still growing, I see. You're now taller than I am."

At that, Renji laughed. "Yeah. But I won't be as tall as Komamura-taichou's _bankai,_ I hope –!"

Byakuya decided he had enough conversation and balanced on his toes slightly, touching his lips to his in a chaste kiss, leaning back to gauge the younger shinigami's reaction.

The redhead blinked down at him... and blinked again. Another version of his kooky smile appeared. "For real?"

 _Smitten._ Byakuya thought almost impishly. _We are not too different, you and I, Renji._ Deliberately, he stepped out of Renji's arms and moved towards the door. He wasn't going to read anymore. At least for today. He was already two books more than his daily quota anyway.

"Would you join me for tea, _**Abarai-taichou**_?"

Renji gaped incredulously for a moment before running after him.

"Wait, Kuchiki-taichou! You're not gonna kill me, are you?" 

* * *

**ENDE**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "A society that puts equality before freedom will get neither. A society that puts freedom before equality will get a high degree of both.” - Milton Friedman

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER/S: I'd love to have the creativity and talent Kubo Tite does. Unfortunately, I don't, so I don't own any of these characters or the series... just this story.
> 
> At this point in this series' alternate universe, the Vizards are present but not included (yet). They'll show up soon enough. I just know it.


End file.
